Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
Until I can hunker down in front of a viewing device (computer or TV) and watch my country bluster and shimmy into a new era of presidential leadership, I'm anxious, anxious, anxious. Creepy anxious.
The combination of living abroad during this election and the insanity circus from Demonic Mongoose Hell, which the election process became, has had me frantic, obsessed, and wondering if the lemurs at the nearby lemur sanctuary might allow me to move in and serve as their Secretary of Keeping It Real. Those lemurs seem to know something we don't.
Also, I've been traveling a lot lately, near and far, so I've had a lot of time to sort of "read the tea leaves" of the world around me. All those giant crows sitting on the fence, staring at me, when I walk out of my hotel door...what's up with that? Is this a portent of presidential doom? One of the crows had very small feet.
The little brown moth that snuck into my office and hung out with me all day, before unfurling his pretty moth wings and flying out the front door. I like moths, and I enjoyed his company, but was he on a mission? My mom always said that moths are ghosts, often of loved ones, taking leave from the other side to check on us.
Did the moth know something that the lemurs and I don't? "Chill out, Lou. It'll be OK. REALLY. And stop taking it out on your thumbs! Tr$mp doesn't get to turn your thumbs into bloody flesh nuggets." Yeah, I've been tearing my fingers apart lately. Wouldn't you? (Please, don't! Save the thumbs!)
I like to think the moth is my friend "J." Still horrified with my bloody fingers — BLOODY FINGERS! — after all these years.
The other day while talking about the election with Mr. Louise, we heard three loud, crackling shots in the distance. At least they sounded like shots from a gun. But it's Japan, so the odds of someone shooting off a gun in my area is HIGHLY unlikely. But whatever it was, it was weird, and both of us got goosebumps. While it was probably nothing, I couldn't help but wonder if the UNIVERSE was trying to warn me? Tell me something? Give me a hint?
But I'm not the only FREEDOM-minded person ever to be superstitious. Presidents and all those political people are more like us Creepy Corneristas than they'd care to admit. (Hey, lawmaker reading this right now! Are you a hardcore Creepy Cornerista? It's cool, we always had our suspicions.)
So to add a little bit of spooky diversion to this anxious day, I thought I'd share some of the superstitions, stories, and myths that America's presidents and VIPs have believed in or claimed to have witnessed over the years.
Presidents: They're just like us Creeps!
George W. Bush saw dead people
OK. I have lots of mixed-up feelings about "Dubya," but could it be? Was he a secret Creepy Cornerista?
Apparently, during his time in the White House he regularly experienced odd, "ghostly" occurrences. So much so that he maintained a page about the creepy shit at the White House. The page doesn't work anymore, but a small part of me is like, "Aww, don't cry, Mr. President, come to the Corner. Pull up a story or two. We'll listen."
The weirdest thing that happened to him was when George H.W. Bush was president and W. was just visiting the White House. Walking by the Lincoln Bedroom (a supposed paranormal hotspot), he claims to have seen figures coming out of the walls of the bedroom.
Additionally, his daughters heard both heard old-timey music or opera coming out of the fireplace in Jenna Bush's bedroom. The source of the music could not be found.
Creepy Andrew Jackson
"Cantankerous" and blustery while alive, Andrew Jackson's ghost is no different. Those who've lived in the White House, including Mary Todd Lincoln, claimed that they heard Jackson swearing and stomping up and down the hallways.
His bedroom, the Rose Room, seems to have a more sinister vibe. There is often a chill reported in the room, and cackling and swearing have been said to emanate from the bed. The Rose Room has been called the most possessed room at the White House.
Abraham Lincoln: the ghost with the most...sightings
You can't talk about ghosts at the White House without talking about Abraham Lincoln. Not only was he superstitious in life, a great believer in dream interpretation and portents (even predicting his own death), but it seems that he just couldn't bear to ever leave the White House.
Calvin Coolidge's wife, Grace, was one of the first to see the ghost of Lincoln. She claimed to see him standing by the window in the oval office.
Winston Churchill came out of the bathroom, naked from his bath, when he saw the ghost of Lincoln standing by the fireplace in his room. They just stared at each other, and when Lincoln had had enough, Churchill claimed he just faded away.
Both Ronald Reagan and his daughter Maureen claimed to have seen a "transparent figure" in a stovepipe hat standing in Lincoln's former bedroom window.
It's been said that Lincoln's ghost walks the second floor hallway, knocking on doors – though if you answer the door, you may be met with nothing but an empty hallway. Unless you're Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands.
When she answered the knock, there stood Lincoln, in his trademark hat. Queen Wilhelmina promptly fainted.
Harry Truman heard four distinct knocks at his door one night at 4 o'clock in the morning. When he answered, nobody was there. Truman said, "The damned place is haunted, sure as shootin'!"
Franklin D. Roosevelt and the number 13
I relate to President Roosevelt on this one. Well, kinda, I like the number 13, he hated it.
Suffering from full-fledged triskaidekaphobia, fear of the number 13, Roosevelt would go out of his way to avoid this number. If the number of guests at a party he had to attend totaled 13 guests, he'd invite his secretary to change the number. He would change travel plans around the number 13 and felt strongly that it was bad luck to light three cigarettes with one match. A tutor for his children found this out the hard way, when after doing it a second time, Roosevelt uncharacteristically "laid into him" in public.
The D.C. demon cat
According to legend, and perhaps some security guards who have been sworn to secrecy, there is a black "demon cat" that lurks through the tunnels under the Capitol buildings. When the tunnels were constructed in the 1800s, apparently cats were released in order to keep rodents at bay.
While the cats are long gone, one black cat remains. Reported to be seen darting around the Capitol and the tunnels, some who have come face-to-face with it say that it looks tiny at first, then grows and grows to almost tiger size.
In the mid- and late 1800s, two separate security guards claimed to have encountered the demon cat. One actually fired at it, only to have it disappear. Another guard encountered the cat with glowing eyes, and when the giant creature leaped at him, just before his gaping jaws met the terrified guard's head, the cat vanished.
The cat is said to appear before elections, and as a forewarning of disaster. The cat was seen the night before the Stock Market Crash of 1929 and right before Kennedy was shot.
I suppose with the election nigh, the demon cat is due to make an appearance. Here's hoping it's just a scheduled, "Hey, I'm still here. Meow." and not a omen of catastrophe.
Hope you all are well and happy and safe amidst all this election wildness. Take care of each other, Creepy Corneristas!