Would I have to start planning outfits around the tattoo like I plan for weather?
Whenever I think of Black Friday shopping, I also think of that ultra-tragic scene in The Lion King that seals Mufasa's fate and Simba's Hamlet complex/hero's journey:
I'm not claustrophobic and I'm not scared of crowds, but on Black Friday all bets are off and I stay in my apartment, twitching the shades aside from time to time to see if the streets are overrun with foam-mouthed, feral shoppers (or, you know, wildebeests).
This is not to say I don't get frothy over Black Friday deals. I get wall-eyed and febrile over discounts in the safety of my own home and shop online. No lines, no trampling, no problem (unless I don't refresh my shopping cart frequently enough).
Though Black Friday has come and gone, the deals are still going strong, and the dawn of Cyber Monday is fast approaching, making today a perfect opportunity to gather 'round the hearth and share our craziest Black Friday shopping stories.
I'm still trying to remember an experience more inspiring than, "this one time, I fell asleep at my computer while Black Friday online shopping for midi-skirts on ASOS and when I woke up they were sold out," because that is neither a story nor crazy nor remotely interesting. I waited in line for four hours once for a Microsoft tablet that I wound up never using. (That seems worse, somehow, than the midi-skirt one.)
What's the longest line you've ever waited on? What's the most noble act of courage or selflessness you've ever witnessed? Tell me your tales of woe and disaster and I'll join you in commiseration while we look back into the past and wonder how any of us survived...