A Completely Serious Review of Chips Ahoy! S'mores and Red Velvet Cookies

These things are SWEET.
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Publish date:
July 4, 2016
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Tags:
cookies, review, S'mores, Chips Ahoy, Red Velvet

Due to the s'more's association with campfires and cookouts, the chocolate and marshmallow sandwich seems to be the flavor of the summer, and many snack foods are being s'more-ified

Chips Ahoy! has gotten in on the gooey action with their own s'more-flavored cookie, which is injected with a "choco fudge" filling and studded with both chocolate and marshmallow flavored chips. According to the copy I received concerning these cookies, they are meant to be shared with one's "squad."

In addition to the s'mores version, Chips Ahoy! has also released a red velvet cookie, which is filled with cream cheese-flavored icing and adorned with cream cheese-flavored chips. Unlike the s'mores cookies before them, these are not intended to be enjoyed with your "squad," but with your "S.O. (aka significant other)."

The closest thing I currently have to a significant other (aka the dude I text a lot and send slightly scandalous photos to) is our very own Tynan Sinks, but he's all the way in Wisconsin, so I ended up sharing both types of cookies with my squad. (Sorry, Nabisco.)

I loaded up my wicker picnic basket (which arrived with the cookies for some reason) and toted them up to north Portland for a little house warming party, which is where the squad was haning.

The texture of both cookies is classic Chips Ahoy!, in that they're a texture you would never be able to replicate in your own kitchen. They're soft and crumbly, but seemed to be held together by some sort of sugary sweet polymer.

The cinnamon-forward flavor of the s'mores cookie reminded me of Teddy Grahams, which is fantastic because I love Teddy Grahams. The red velvet didn't really remind me of anything, especially not red velvet. They were fairly one note, and that note was pure, tooth-aching sweetness. One member of my "squad" said he tasted "hints of raspberries and petroleum," but I mostly tasted sugar.

In terms of fillings, the fudge found in the s'mores flavor was the clear winner. Though it was reminiscent of those Palmer chocolate coins you get at Easter, it was still chocolate, and chocolate always wins. Missing from this cookie however was the marshmallow I was promised. Though the little white chips had a bit of vanilla flavor in them, a little bit of vanilla does not a marshmallow make. Marshmallows are about texture, and a bit of marshmallow fluff would have been a more effective filling here.

The "cream cheese" filling in the red velvet cookie was enjoyable in the way that canned frosting is enjoyable, but I didn't really detect the tangy goodness of cream cheese. Any real cream cheese flavor was also missing from the chips, which is too bad, because cream cheese frosting is the best part of red velvet anything.

All of that being said, people ate the cookies, and the most positive reactions seemed to be rooted in nostalgia, even though these are both completely new flavors. "These would pair well with Welch's grape juice," and "I feel like I'm in grade school," were among some of the sentiments expressed.

On a personal level, these cookies reminded me of those I used to enjoy during snack time at Vacation Bible School, which I attended most summers while visiting my family in Mississippi.

Should you buy these cookies? I think my friend Kate summed it up best: "If you like nostalgia and things that taste kind of like polymers, then these are for you."