Fashion trends are so dumb. They really just appear to be made up at will by random individuals. And of course the fashion media is endlessly killing my soul with their incessant droning on about what is "This Season's Must Have!” or something being “All the Rage!”
Please tell me how certain colors can be in or out. What? They are just colors. How can a dress length be "Marked for Deletion"? It's all a lie. These fake style/trend edicts may have been heeded by the masses in the past, but fashion has become bigger than the forces that created it as something to hold over women's heads.
I personally don't pay much attention to trends except to notice when something I love to wear has reached a saturation point. Then I shove it to the back of my closet for a while until it’s not quite so ubiquitous.
I guess it's time to retire the cyborg shades.
This is the difference between wearing something because it's “in style” and wearing something because you just like it. This big intro is all so I can lazily hit you with 5 random things that make no sense together but that I am into right now, trends be damned.
Thing 1) PEPLUMS
I love a dress or skirt with a peplum.
Actors are always balking when I try to get them to wear one -- they erroneously think it makes their hips look bigger. I think it’s just the opposite. If you have big hips already, a peplum helps camouflage them. It totally fools the eye. If you are stick thin, a peplum gives you some shape. They are very feminine and flirty, and when you turn on your heel to flounce away from someone, they give a coquettish little flip that pleases me to no end.
Thing 2) BLOOD IS THE NEW BLACK
I used to never, ever, wear T-shirts. I thought they were sloppy. But then something turned over in my brain and they were all I wanted to wear. Then I got bored of them again because there are no clever ones. I am fickle about what I think is cool. It’s 1 am here in Los Angeles as I write this, and by the time you read this, I may have up and decided that everything I just told you is cool really isn’t anymore. But I do love almost every T-shirt from Blood is the New Black:
They are so random and slightly gruesome. Grim reaper? Black metal bears? I’m in.
Thing 3) TEETH JEWELRY
Clockwise from top left: Sterling silver and human tooth ring, $500.00. Human tooth in Victorian era setting, $225.00. Human tooth on sterling chain, $170.00. Baby teeth earrings with garnet accents set in sterling silver, $140.00.
I am pretty obsessed with teeth. I collect them and keep them in a box on my dresser. Actually I have boxes of teeth all over my house.
This box has a severed head and some diamond earrings in it too.
I beg everyone I know for their teeth. If you are getting your wisdom teeth out, I will for sure attempt to make a side deal with you for your teeth. I gave one of my wisdom teeth to an ex-boyfriend on a string. The jeweler I took it to ruined 3 drill bits before he could drill a hole in the tooth to string it.
I love wearing creepy jewelry, because it tells people exactly who they are dealing with before you even open your mouth. Some dentists won't let people keep their teeth when they are pulled, which is criminal! They are part of your body. You most definitely have the right to keep them. I'd have caused a scene and called the police if my dentist had tried to keep my wisdom teeth when he pulled them.
Thing 4) TOMBOY FASHION
Even though I am very girly with the clothes I wear every day, in my dreams I am a total tomboy. Tomboys are so carefree and rebellious. They just do what they want and are sexy as hell while doing it. I own 3 different very specific hairbrushes and have an entire extra bedroom only for my clothes. I am so the opposite of carefree style.
I want to wear rolled up jeans and button front oxford shirts all the time and still look pretty. I want to be able to wake up and not brush my hair and look adorably tousled. Sadly, this look does not suit me. I end up looking like Jay Adams, the original non-hairbrush owning Dogtown skate rat.
Lizzie Garrett Mettler's book “Tomboy Style: Beyond the Boundaries of Fashion” inspired me to work a little bit of tomboy-ish style into my wardrobe. It’s a fascinating book full of great photos of stylish tomboys from the last century as well as some excellent writing on the spirit that is at the heart of tomboy style.
Lizzie is the real deal -- a true tomboy since childhood. Her blog, TomboyStyle, is full of thoughtful art, music and culture references. I always look to see what she is into when I am un-inspired at work.
Thing 5) FALLING WHISTLES
The Falling Whistles project is not new, but of course that is not the point of this column. Falling Whistles is a non-profit organization aimed at raising awareness of the plight of children in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The country has been devastated by an "African World War" that has been ongoing since 1998. Children who are too young to carry weapons are often sent into battles armed only with whistles. Falling Whistles sells beautiful (functional!) whistle necklaces on their website in an effort to support the rehabilitation of Congo and it's littlest citizens. They call this being a "whistle blower for peace."
The whistles come in a variety of metals but I am partial to the original shiny silver one.
What ever happened to the idea of the rape whistle? It was a big thing when I was growing up.
Do people even talk to young girls about how to use their voice and lungs to call attention to a struggle or a dangerous situation? Is the rape whistle an antiquated idea now? I still have a whistle on my keychain, and I always wonder if it would do me any good if I were faced with an unwanted advance in a dark parking garage.
XOJaners are always turning me on to new, cool stuff. Or just reminding me of old stuff that is cool again. Trends are fun, but personal style is far better. You ladies (and gents!) have that in spades. Thanks for being you.