I'd Start A Savings Account For This: Miu Miu Perfection Boot

I made up the name of the boot because I felt like it. MWA.

Jan 14, 2014 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment

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I broke myself this weekend. I forced my buddy to walk to a party on Friday because I was antsy and didn’t want to pay for a cab. I regret this because I ended up paying to party with my kneecap. I actually can’t really walk and I look like an idiot all the time now because it hurts just enough to hobble but not enough to actually NOT walk. I look like a baby. 
 
I was wearing these heeled witchy boots that Abby wrote about once. They are a million seasons ago from a slightly embarrassing company (mainly because it's vegan and NOT Stella McCartney) so I can't link. No matter though, I just want you to get an image in your head.  
 
Well, not actually. But something like them. I was wearing boots that have a heel and laces and make me look pretty badass. BUT THEN THEY BETRAYED ME. Like a midseason episode of GIRLS I fell right on my face at 1 am under the BQE (that’s Brooklyn Queens Expressway, for those who do not have the privilege to live in the ultra fabulous and painfully hip Williamsburg.) Actually, I didn’t fall on my face exactly. I fell on my knee and now I can’t walk right. 
 
As you can see, I’m pretty upset about it. 
 
Anyway, while I was caring for my wound this Sunday I was looking through my newly arrived glossies and I came across this photo:
 
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Elizabeth Olsen long hair high boot realness. 

 
Beyond the fact that this is an absolutely stunning photograph, those boots. Those BOOTS. Those boots would never hurt me because they are beautiful, and beautiful things never hurt you. Except if you are in the seventh grade or on the Amazon. 
 
Let us take a closer look:
 
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Same boot, warmer brown. Image from Style.com

 
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From behind, in shinny white. Image from Style.com

 
Look. At. That. Heel. 
 
This is what really bothers me about people complaining about certain things being expensive. The design of that heel is actually brilliant. It is not only that it goes in in such a way that it looks like it would break, but the architecture of it it is crafted in such a way that it WON’T break. It is an upside down heel essentially. An inverted heel. You are not just paying for a neat looking shoe, you are paying for brilliant, progressive, interesting design. Because it is Miu Miu and they know what they are doing. 
 
I’m not going to reference the movie we are all thinking about, but yeah, it’s that vibe. It's also a lot MORE than that. 
 
Usually I’m not so keen on the hippy lifestyle because of it’s unflinching happiness and carefree contentment. I NEED to worry about/hate on/throw shade at SOMETHING. For some reason, these just really speak to me. Maybe it is because they are perfect and have a perfect speaking voice. 
 
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The whole collection is divine. Not to mention everyone's new favorite starlet Lupita Nyong'o (who is filing a police report from being ROBBED at the Golden Globes. Still love you though, J. Law) is one of the many beauties featured in the whimsical and sexy campaign. Notice the same inverted heel on the Mary Janes she is wearing, no matter that they are covered in massive gemstones. No matter at all.
 
Excuse me while I go cry under my desk now. I can’t handle beauty like this. G'night folks.