When the time comes (soon) that I am old enough to be exactly everyone's grandma, I'm excited to report that I'll be well prepared with dozens of witticisms, endless clever life hacks, and non-stop great advice for the young folks of tomorrow. Here's a little preview of what I've got on tap — because the old ladies of the world have MAD STYLE.
1. Paris is ALWAYS a good idea.
Yes, the most trite of Audrey Hepburn quotes, but it really is true. It doesn't have to be Paris exactly, but get out and make memories with the people you love. They will keep you warm at night when nothing else can.
2. "They're NEVER dead."
This might be the most insightful thing ever said to me — and it was uttered by a pal when I was truthfully worried that a dude who was quite clearly giving me the brush-off had perhaps been hurt in an accident and that had to be why he wasn't calling me, he could possibly be dead, right?!?! Hahahahah ok, Freer, ok.
3. If you're not 15 minutes early, you're already late.
Working in Hollywood means that you can be many things (arrogant, argumentative, even sort of mean), but there is one thing you cannot ever be: LATE. I've installed the '10 minute mobilization rule' in my house, which means that each person needs to be ready to walk out the door a full 10 minutes before the agreed-upon departure time to allow for key-finding and all the other stupid little dramas that add up to always being late. This is an excellent life hack, because it means you get to work early enough to luxuriously enjoy your coffee by a dumpster.
4. Every girl needs a proper housecoat.
I'm talking a real deal grandma-style housecoat, zip-front distant cousin of the mumu, usually found in the basement lingerie section of Macy's or Dillard's or some other dusty, woe-begotten department store. There is nothing more cozy, more convenient, or more quietly luxurious than a one piece garment you can zip yourself into at the end of a long workday that has pockets for your everyday necessities: phone, lip balm, and asthma inhaler. It takes you from couch to bed to accepting your UPS packages to getting back in bed with coffee and dogs with ease and grace.
A housecoat is far more functional and comfortable than a regular old robe (I mean who wants a stupid belt tied around their middle, it is the exact opposite of relaxing), and it's also the perfect way to embrace your inner grandma style (which is all the rage for Spring 2016, in case you didn't know). Why wait until you're 90 to be hella comfortable?
You know you've really hit housecoat pay dirt if you happen upon one sporting this tag:
A matching nightgown is the pinnacle — really the luxurious holy grail of old-lady housecoat style. It means you are holding in your hands a most functional garment designed with the needs of today's woman (and tomorrow's grandma) in mind.
In the summertime, continue being a chic house-grandma by simply switching your plush housecoat out for its kissing cousin, the easy, breezy housedress. Because who wouldn't want to "make a morning at home feel like a tropical holiday" in this Garden Melodies Housecoat?
5. All advice is worthless.
I mean honestly, do what you like. Don't listen to anyone's voice but your own. Except for that tip about them never being dead. That one is GOLDEN.
Alison Freer is the author of 'How to Get Dressed: A Costume Designer's Secrets for Making Your Clothes Look, Fit, and Feel Amazing'.