I have a very complicated relationship with my boobs. For years I punished them for existing by wearing the wrong bra. I wanted to hide my boobs. I wanted them to disappear. I wanted people to stop throwing coins in between them, or making nasty comments about them. At their largest they were a 46 E/F.
Then I got a breast reduction.
It was an awful decision and I (unlike many) totally regret it. I hated my scars and I wished that I had beautiful smooth skin like my friends and girlfriends. Eventually I decided to stop hating my boobs and start being a bit nicer to them. I was lucky enough to start loving them around the time that gorgeous bras in plus sizes became a bit easier to purchase.
However, I have a secret confession to make: Even though I love the ones I own, sometimes I hate wearing a bra. I have so many bras in different styles, lacy, cotton, push up, and plunge. I’ve tried and loved so many bras but sometimes, I still feel like something is missing.
Sometimes I feel the need to freeboob. Freeboobing can be defined as not wearing a bra under clothing. It’s similar to freeballing, and it is amazing. It is super relaxing, and your body almost sighs in relief at being able to breathe for a day.
At a 44DD, I’m still fairly well endowed, so the idea of freeboobing can be terrifying. While I know a number of people who have smaller breasts and freeboob without fear, I also know that women with bigger boobs are generally expected to always wear a bra and are often criticized for not following this norm.
For a long time, I was terrified of freeboobing. I didn’t want to have someone say something nasty to me about my boobs. I was also worried because after my breast reduction I had experienced something called “awkward nipple,” where one of my nipples would get hard and the other would take a little bit longer to react to the cold. I didn’t want to get cold on a date and have someone laugh at my horribly awkward nipple.
I know some people have very specific rules that they follow when they wear specific things, and I’m no exception. Here are 5 of my rules that I follow when I’m going without a bra.
1. Wear something structured.
I am a big fan of this because even when I’m not wearing a bra, I like to have some support to keep me from bouncing. I often wear a great vest, or a snug fitted dress. For some reason I find that this tends to be easier with a dress than with a shirt. I love to wear loose, flowy dresses, but when I’m looking for a little bit more support I try to wear something that is a bit more form fitting.
2. Halter tops are both amazing and evil. Wear with caution.
I love halter tops. I think they’re super cute and can show off a great tan, or an excellent back tattoo. They can help keep that lift and support you would want. I love the way my cleavage looks in a halter!
The downside is that after a while they can start to strain your neck. I love wearing halters for shorter outings but when I become uncomfortable in an outfit, it ruins the confidence that makes me feel invincible. If you’re a migraine sufferer, it can be a bit of a trigger, so please be careful.
3. Highlight something other than your cleavage.
I love my cleavage, but when I’m freeboobing I like to draw attention to the other parts of my body that I do like. I find that I really love my body shape. I love the hourglass figure that I have, and I prefer to draw attention to my waist to emphasize that shape.
If you have amazing hips, or a great waist, or even a dress with a bold pattern on it, show it off. It will help draw the attention away from your bust, especially when you are nervous about going braless.
4. Wear Pasties.
Pasties are an excellent tool for going braless, and they are an amazing addition to your underwear drawer. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of your nipples being visible through fabric, or want to go braless in something sheer, pasties can be helpful.
I personally use Nippies from Bristols Six as I’m allergic to most adhesives and these ones don’t cause a massive skin reaction. They have single use and reusable ones, and you can also find (or make) gorgeous burlesque pasties to wear as lingerie.
5. If It’s not comfortable, don’t wear it.
I only have one or two items that I can’t wear with a bra, and sometimes you will find me wearing a bra with an outfit on one day or another, even if I typically go without. There are just some days when I feel a bit more comfortable in a bra. I will change my outfit twenty times before work just to feel comfortable in what I’m wearing. Because when I feel comfortable, I feel confident. When I feel confident, I feel sexy. When I feel sexy, I’m a rockstar!