I spent a lot of time this spring watching new episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation. (Shut up.) Each week when I tuned into TeenNick, my eyes were inundated with the same deeply disturbing commercial. This is my attempt to process it. Proceed with caution, because what has been seen can’t be unseen.
1. Is it necessary to have a cash register sound effect every time I click something/scroll over photos on the website?
2. To whom are these shoes being advertised? The commercials are full of tween girls, while the blog suggests sneaker pairings for “nights on the town.” WHAT IS A TWEEN GIRL’S “NIGHT ON THE TOWN”? Besides going to a drive thru after soccer practice?
3. Why do the wedges need to be “secret”? And don’t the commercials sort of blow the lid off that whole thing?
4. Why is it so important to be 2″ taller? I thought at that age all the girls were already dwarfing the boys. Won’t this make all the school dances super weird?
5. What is this???
6. Why aren’t there Blingees all over the site? It’s crying out for them.
7. Why do I love these so much?