We Finally Had The Sex Talk With My Eight-Year-Old And This Is How It Went Down

Is eight too young to learn about all this? Also, you won't believe how he thought babies are made.

Jul 10, 2013 at 11:30am | Leave a comment

Oliver asks a lot of questions. By questions, I mean sex questions. The frequency of the questions had increased recently, so finally one night I texted his dad: “You must have the sex talk with Oliver tomorrow!” Exclamation point. 
 
I honestly didn't imagine we would need to have The Talk with Oliver at eight years old, though I certainly knew it was coming soon. But in my experience, kids tell you when they are ready for stuff -- whether that is weaning off a bottle, or learning to walk, or reading a chapter book. And Oliver was definitely telling us he wanted to know more about this subject.
 
image

BABIES.

 
So the next day Seth took the kiddo skateboarding, gave him the sex talk, then bought him some ice cream. To be clear, I had no problem having the sex talk with Oliver, just as Oliver has had no problem asking me questions about it. I’m so happy that he hasn’t been embarrassed about it up to this point.
 
But I’m a bit of a traditionalist -- I wanted his dad to be the one to sit down with him and explain what’s what. 
 
It went really well! It turns out Oliver already had a general idea about sex and baby-making and all of that, just based on specific questions we’ve previously answered for him. Except for one thing, which I actually think is pretty great and which Seth, of course, clarified for him.
 
(Now I’m going to preface this by speaking to the Oliver of the future, who may find this article one day and who is no doubt a bright dude with a very firm grasp of sex and pregnancy and other related subjects: Future Oliver, please forgive me for sharing this with the entire Internet in perpetuity.)
 
Anyway, Seth didn’t go into the science of fertilization, but did explain the mechanics of the how and the what and the where. This kind of blew Oliver’s mind, and it also shed some light on some misinformation he had picked up who-knows-where:
 
Oliver thought that the dad goes to the hospital with the mom, sticks his penis in her, and then when he pulls it out a baby comes out with it. Ta-da! And that is how babies are made and born, you guys.
 
image

BABY BUNNIESSSS

 
(Special thank-you to Future Oliver for sharing this information with your dad in 2013. This is a real gem, and I love it.)
 
So let's hear it: did you have any funny/weird/totally untrue ideas about sex before your parents, or friends (or in my case, a book) set the record straight? 
 
Somer is on Twitter: @somersherwood.

May We Suggest