getting pregnant with michelle tea
When I finally polish off a big, fat jar of Vlasic dill spears, I gaze down at a pint or so of absolutely mouth-watering pickle juice. And I want to drink the whole entire thing.
I am not a mom, but I study them -- and the difficult work they do -- for about eight hours a day.
She buys me a new scale for every apartment I’ve had, the old one having mysteriously disappeared. Even today, we email each other our weights on a daily basis.
daddy issues
My father never knew how to express himself; I never knew how to tell him that I loved him
The very clear and simple reason I must strive to be a grown-up about this is because I have a child in the equation, which means I’m obligated to make it as amicable as I possibly can, whether it suits me or not.
Doctors are suddenly very interested in my personal life the minute I tell them I am not worried about preserving my fertility.
If you have never been through a divorce yourself, you might not realize how the things you are saying might actually be making your friend feel worse.
getting pregnant with michelle tea
It is my suspicion that every little weird glitchy thing happening to my body is somehow related to being pregnant, and I don’t seem to be incorrect.
“Upon death, freeze the head,” read the bracelet on his wrist.
Throughout my life, people said, “Oh, you’ll change your mind when you get older,” and for 30 years, my response has been the same: “If I do, please, please remind me of these excellent reasons why I shouldn’t.”
Long before she had me, my mom rambled around Baltimore in the ’60s with her friends John Waters and Divine.
As a non-binary person, as someone who indentifies as neither a man or woman, neither "Dad" or "Mom," what parental name is there for me?
how not to be a dick
"I’m not a racist. I think mixed race babies are the cutest!"
single motherhood
Whenever I meet up with any of my sister-wives, I literally feel invincible after I leave.
I simply explained to Noah that if given the opportunity to choose, the dairy cows and chickens would pick life over death and freedom over cages.
getting pregnant with michelle tea
I brought both pee sticks back into the bed with me. Was that gross? I’d just peed on them.
Next time a child waves at you and shouts “hi!” EVEN IF YOU’RE EATING OR YOU HATE CHILDREN, don’t act like you can see straight through him.
I have no defense except to say that I was really curious to know if my daughter had what it took to make it into a Target circular.

May 22, 2014 at 2:00pm | 125 comments

Oh man, you have no idea how disappointed we are to have a completely healthy baby girl. Girls are so useless.
what the parenting books don't tell you
If you do not want to throw a giant party for your toddler, it’s okay if you don’t.
family drama
In their play, children express their thoughts and emotions, but they also reflect back what they see around them at home and in society.

May 12, 2014 at 2:30pm | 336 comments

One morning when I was four years old, I learned I had a whole other family while watching "Family Feud."