Zack Morris Was The Original Frank Underwood

They're basically the same person.

Apr 24, 2014 at 11:30am | Leave a comment

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As a fan of teen dramas and comedies and novels, I’m always willing to hold them to the same regard of say, a critically-acclaimed show on Netflix. And on the surface, sure, the main character of the jaunty teen comedy Saved by the Bell would have nothing in common with the fierce main character of the political drama House of Cards. But that’s where you’re wrong! They’re the same!
 
SHARP DRESSERS
These two know how to dress. Sure, they don’t have the same style but that doesn’t mean they don’t look good in their own special way. Frank can wear a suit that makes you wonder why your husband doesn’t wear suits, whereas Zack’s embracement of early 90’s fluorescents makes me pine for the days of DayGlo.
 
CELL PHONE OBSESSION
 
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Zack Morris has the original TV cell phone and Frank Underwood conducts a large majority of his business via text messages that we can read along on screen. Cell phones are proven Useful Scheme Devices and these dudes sure know how to use them.
 
SOCIOPATHS
Let’s cut to the chase a bit. These two are manipulative sociopathic schemers. They both only have their best interests at heart and whether it be at Bayside High or on Capitol Hill, they will always get their way. Frank Underwood is maybe a little more obvious in his Machiavellian ways, whereas Zack tries to act like a good guy, but underneath it all they both heartlessly manipulate everyone in their path and should probably be in jail. Zack secretly takes photos of his female friends and publishes them into a calendar, edits videos of every girl in school into dating videos to pimp them out and, yes, he brainwashes the whole school into loving him as well. Frank blackmails Peter Russo into running for Governor of Pennsylvania, then causes his relapse into alcoholism and stages his suicide, giving the Vice President a reason to step down so he could take the Vice Presidency for himself, and ultimately, sets the President up to resign so he can take that job too.
 
STRONG WOMEN
Just like on Scandal, behind every powerful (or seemingly-powerful) guy, lies a good and strong woman. Zack had Kelly and Frank has Claire. Kelly blindly stands by Zack through every scheme and every girl when they’re broken up and still ends up marrying the guy. She’s the perfect trophy girlfriend for Zack, doesn’t ask too many questions and doesn’t get too mad when he puts her in danger just to get Slater kicked out of driver’s ed. Claire Underwood is actually IN on the schemes and also carries out her own. But the truth remains that, just like Tammy Wynette, they know the best way to deal with sociopathic partners is to stand by your man.
 
LAP DOG BEST FRIENDS
 
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Samuel “Screech” Powers and Doug Stamper. Separated at birth. These guys will do anything for their men, but unlike the ladies, they’re merely pawns. Zack and Frank couldn’t do anything they do without the help of Screech and Doug and yet, they often draw the short end of the stick. And don’t be fooled, they will go DOWN if they cross the leading men. But Screech and Doug will keep messing up and coming back again for more. Lap dogs until the end.
 
BREAK THE FOURTH WALL
Zack Morris can stop time and talk directly at us. And, surprise! Frank Underwood can talk to us too! In fact, he loves talking to us! In the season 2 opener he didn’t break the fourth wall until the very end of the episode and it was intense and amazing. These guys take their scheming to a whole new level when they stop what is normally accepted on TV and talk straight at us. And you know why? Because these guys DON’T GIVE A F*CK!
 
Reprinted with permission from Thought Catalog. Want more?