Why Won’t Y’all Let Miley Cyrus And Her Haircut Be Great?
Fact: There isn’t a day that goes by that another Miley Cyrus-Liam Hemsworth "Are they, aren’t they?" article doesn’t go live on the good old interwebs. Unless you’ve been camped out under a big ass rock for the past few months, you’re more than likely somewhat familiar (at the very least) with the present precariousness of her betrothal to the Aussie actor.
And while I don’t give one single solitary iota of an actual fuck about the current state of their supposedly off-and-on relationship, I would like to speak my piece (peace?) on two points:
1) I hope it all works out in her favor because he is HAWWWWWWWWT, and
2) I’m so over those who have the gall to blame the young couple’s relationship issues on her newfound grungy rocker look -- and her kickass bleached blonde boy-cut. (People are so judgmental and opinionated about hair!)
See, I’m a generation ahead of those who were subjected to "Miley Mania," so I missed out on the whole Hannah Montana phenomenon. (In fact, I didn’t know much about her before Party in the U.S.A. dropped, and even then, I was only introduced because someone had mashed it up with Party and Bullshit by Biggie Smalls. #HipHop4Eva!)
Back then, "Smiley Miley" was your friendly neighborhood cute, bubbly, pseudo-virginal, all-American kind of girl with waist-length mermaid waves who liked to sing and dance while wearing cowboy boots and daisy dukes. Otherwise known as the poster girl for safe suburbia.
But then -- almost overnight -- she grew up.
Now she’s stomping around town in Dr. Martens showing off her tight little Pilates body in crop tops with a funky fresh flaxen haircut and a "MOTHERFUCK ALL Y’ALL" attitude to match. And the kids simply CANNOT deal. (By kids, I mean suburbia.)
Not only are hordes of people shitting on her hairstyle (which I happen to like) all over Twitter and in several comment sections, they’re assuming it’s actually the reason Liam is supposedly leaving her.
- This "new" Miley is not the one he proposed to. She reeled him in and then decided to have an identity crisis at the age of 20. Hair and clothes don't determine what type of person you are, but she has taken it to the extreme! She went from looking like a movie star to a freak show in the blink of an eye. She is making a fool out of herself.
- Miley if u really want ur marriage to work, be the person u were when Liam met u. Back then u were a beautiful girl.
- I think the problem is that he fell in a love with someone who mostly resembled a girl, and now looks more like a guy in drag. He can have sex with his eyes closed only so many times before it's not fun anymore. Seriously, MOST guys are not attracted to a chick looking like her, even if the body is hot.
Ouch. All this even after Liam said he loved her punk-y pixie! (Miley said he was really into it, too.)
On one hand, I’d be remiss if I didn’t admit that I could see why people are having trouble warming to her new image; it’s a complete 180° from what her fans have grown accustomed to.
On the other, you have to remember that Miley was a cash cow/child star -- a team of minders carefully crafted her previously wholesome look in order to build her ridiculously fruitful Disney career. Is it so far-fetched to believe that since she’s calling the shots and making her own decisions now, she’d experiment with an edgier look that she feels better suits her? I most certainly did.
Of course I never had my own TV show or sold millions of records, but when I worked at In Style eight years ago I had a mohawk which I impulsively cut (and immediately loved!) a week after I started the job.
I wasn’t in the midst of an identity crisis. (Repeat after me: Sometimes, a haircut is just a haircut. It’s not always some cosmetic cry for help.) I didn't lose my job. My boyfriend didn’t dump me. In fact, he spent way too much time rubbing the freshly buzzed sides of my head like a genie’s lamp. (Another story, another day.)
Granted, we weren’t engaged and our relationship did indeed end six months later, but it had absolutely positively nothing to do with my haircut. He loved me for me -- before the big chop, and after.
Why can’t we give Liam the benefit of the doubt and assume that he shares the same mentality as my ex, in that his heart belongs to Miley the girl, not Miley the girl who wears socially acceptable flouncy dresses and sky high heels as long as she has longer hair?
Before I wrap this up, I have to say that I like that she’s coming into her own, style-wise. She looks super duper starship trooper fucking great, and you can tell she actually feels confident and sexy, too. After all, isn’t that what’s really attractive?
Holla at IJJ over on Twitter: @IndiaJewelJax.