Who's Going To Make Me Cry Now, Oprah?

Wynonna Judd?

May 25, 2011 at 2:02pm | Leave a comment

Dear Oprah,

I love a good cry. Unfortunately they don't come to me easily (which is why I need things like wedding dresses to get out of tickets), but you have consistently made me cry, often at work, on and off for last four to 20 years. And, needless to say, with today's farewell show it's going to be waterworks up here in the offices of xoJane.com. 

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I've practically grown up with you, Oprah. I was supposed to grow up with Donahue because my mom loved him and even sat in his audience once, but things didn't work out that way when he retired in 1996, right in the middle of my adolescence.

My best friend Lindsay and I were obsessed with other peoples' problems. We didn't really have reality shows in the '90s, so when we weren't reading non-fiction books about other peoples' problems ("Go Ask Alice" is still one of the best things I've ever read), we were videotaping talk shows about them and rushing home from school to watch.

You had a lot of competition, of course: that silver fox Donahue, Sally Jessy Raphael and her red glasses, perky Ricki Lake, Jenny Jones who was reportedly a comedian but never uttered a funny word in my opinion, and even our very own Jane Pratt.

But you stuck around the longest. Here's what I'm thankful for, first and foremost: Thank you for laughing off and even playing into the Gayle lesbian rumors, for trying not to laugh too hard at Sarah Palin's hairstyle when she appeared on your show, for never seeing a reason to marry Stedman, for loving your tequila and for even appearing hungover once or twice, as I suspected you were during your uncharacteristically flat interview with Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks on November 19, 2007.

I could also thank you for serious things like being one of the first talk show hosts to address the AIDS crisis and for making sure America read more and for hugging people with physical deformities. Also, thank you for the No Phone Zone pledge, which even I signed and almost always obey unless I'm bored and stuck in traffic.

But now it's time for me to find another place for my cathartic cry. I just looked over the OWN TV show lineup and I'm putting money on the Judds and Shania Twain.

Lots of love,

Anya