11:04 pm ET: Will Ferrell presents final awards: "Modern Family" for Outstanding Comedy Series and "Breaking Bad" for Best Drama Series. Is anyone surprised? I am not.
11 pm ET: What is this "Orange is the New Black" spoof / Audi ad with Claire Danes? Huh. Whatever; I'll happily scarf down anything remotely "OINTB"-related.
10:56 pm ET: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Miniseries/Movie goes to Michael Douglas for "Behind the Candlebra." LOL at Michael's "two-hander" dirty joke. Glad he thanked estranged wife Catherine Z. When the hell did I start liking Michael Douglas so much?!
10:48 pm ET: Outstanding Supporting Actress - Miniseries goes to Ellen Burstyn, "Political Animals." Didn't watch; no clue, but she is pretty adorable up there describing the role: "a woman over 65 who still had a lotta juice."
10:35 pm ET: James Cromwell won Best Supporting Actor/Drama for "American Horror Story: Asylum." I didn't love season 2 of this show -- honestly not sure if it deserves to win in any category. Thoughts?
10:25 pm ET: Tribute speech to James "Jim" Gandolfini by his "Sopranos" wife Edie Falco. She's getting all choked up. So much sad.
10:19 pm ET: Awkward group dance to "Get Lucky" finally over. Thank gawd.
10:12 pm ET: James Gandolfini tribute coming up. Saaaaaadddddddd.
10:05 pm ET: "The Daily Show" is happy, so very happy, that it won again. Wait ... or did "Colbert" win? Confused. Losing my mind. Forget it. FORGET IT ALL.
9:59 pm ET: Aw, a standing ovation is happening for a cute man (ETA: ohhhhh, duh -- it's Bob Newhart! Thanks, all. I knew he looked familiar. Brain fail). Random aside: Why the hell didn't "The Americans" get more nominations?
9:55 pm ET: Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series: Claire Danes! "Homeland"! My favorite show on TV! By far! And I'm liking her haircut a ton, too. Win.
9:46 pm ET: Carrie Underwood is having a rough start at singing "Yesterday" by the Beatles. Oh, Carrie... We know, it's the Beatles. Must be nerve-wracking. Hope we get to Best Actress soon, and hope Kerry Washington wins. If so, she'll be the first black actress to win a drama Emmy.
9:41 pm ET: Jeff Daniels just won for Best Actor in a Drama for "The Newsroom." Wait...What? WHY?
9:38 pm ET: Bobby Cannavale won Best Supporting Actor in a Drama for "Boardwalk Empire." I don't watch that show, so I have no idea if he deserves it, sorry. Wait, he has a college-aged son? HUH? And also wait, he was in "Blue Jasmine," right? I liked him in that! His acceptance speech is sweet, and his girlfriend Rose Byrne is adorable as sh*t.
9:30 pm ET: Mark Burnett just accepted an award for Best Reality Show ("The Voice"). So THIS is what the addictive crap-TV genius looks like. I've always wondered (I'm serious). Whoa, per the most trusted source on the Internets -- Wikipedia, of course -- Burnett's projects have garnered 98 Emmy nominations!
9:26 pm ET: Ahhhhh it's Sarah Silverman! Dancing with Neil Patrick Harris and singing about saying "vagina" on TV!
9:17 pm ET: This Cory Monteith tribute speech by Jane Lynch makes me want to crawl under the table. Gah. I'm happy the late Henry Bromell won for Best Writing on a Drama Series for the amazing "Homeland" episode "Q&A."
9:03 pm ET: Laura Linney won for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie but she "was such a great actress, she didn't need to show up."
9:01 pm ET: This Elton John number is killing me (softly).
8:48: pm ET: Sofia Vergara and Jimmy Kimmel had some awkward moments announcing the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy award; the guy from "Big Bang Theory" just won. Meh.
8:37 pm ET: Whoa, WTF is up with Jon Hamm's facial hair? Julia Louis-Dreyfus just won for Lead Actress in a Comedy Series ("Veep").
8:28 pm ET: Tina Fey and Tracey Wigfield won for comedy writing. Yay.
8 pm ET: The Emmy Awards are starting. Like, right this second. Do you care? I'm a massive TV fan, so I kind of do; I'm also something of an award-show nut, so yeah, like I said -- I kind of care.
PRE-SHOW: Who do you think (or hope) will win tonight? If I ran the world, these are the people I'd want to win. (These are only among the categories I actually care about -- see the full list of nominees here):
-Outstanding Comedy Series: "30 Rock" all the way
-Outstanding Lead Actress/Comedy Series: Tina Fey ("30 Rock") or Laura Dern ("Enlightened")
-Outstanding Lead Actor/Comedy Series: To be honest, I don't have strong feelings on this one because I watch a strangely small number of comedies. But if I had to pick: Louis C.K., "Louie"
-Outstanding Supporting Actresss/Comedy Series: Meh. None of the nominees really excite me, but I guess Jane Krakowski ("30 Rock")
-Outstanding Writing/Comedy Series: Tina Fey and Tracey Wigfield, DUH
-Outstanding Drama Series: GAHHHHH STOP THIS IS TOO HARD TOO MANY AMAZING SHOWS OUT THERE, but my favorites are "Mad Men" and "Homeland"
-Outstanding Lead Actress/Drama Series: Claire Danes ("Homeland".). I also love Kerry Washington and Vera Farmiga.
-Outstanding Lead Actor/Drama Series: I love Jon Hamm but he's gotten his fair share of awards for "Mad Men" already. Maybe Bryan Cranston or Damian Lewis?
-Outstanding Supporting Actress/Drama: Christina Hendricks ("Mad Men")
-Outstanding Writing/Drama Series: TOO MANY OPTIONS AND ALL TOO GOOD
Weigh in with your predictions below, or just dissect everyone's couture -- whatever you're in the mood for. FUN TIMES.