I Missed SHARKNADO?! What's Your Favorite "Bad" Movie?

In honor of the missed opportunity, here are a 10 of my favorite good-bad (as opposed to boring-bad) movies.

Jul 12, 2013 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment

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Couldn't even be bothered to brush my hair for this picture.

Yesterday, Twitter exploded with people talking about SyFy's "Sharknado," one of their blissfully campy made-for-tv movies with a name that tells you everything you need to know. (See also: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, notable for starring teen idols Tiffany and Debbie Gibson and also for the fact that nobody even knows what a "Gatoroid" is.) Anyway, if you haven't heard about Sharknado yet, or seen the poster below, I'll give you a second to drink it all in.

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Take it in.

 

I LOVE THIS SHIT. Just seeing the poster took me back to my wanton childless days, when I took the time and energy to watch movies so for granted I watched as many bad ones as I did good. I even met one of my best boyfriends through a Craigslist ad looking for someone to "watch B-movies and drink beer" with.

So I was pretty bummed to realize that Sharknado actually aired last night and is not currently scheduled for re-air. For me, Sharknado was a sweet dream that was over before it began. In honor of the missed opportunity, here are a few of my favorite good-bad (as opposed to boring-bad) movies.

"Troll 2"

Sort of the gold standard of the so-bad-it's-good genre, Troll 2 even inspired a documentary ("Best Worst Movie") about its cult of obsessed fans. There's nothing I love more than encountering someone who has never seen this film before, so that I can show it to them. The whole thing is just so eye-squintingly, head-tiltingly bizarre -- not to mention that there's not a single troll in the whole movie.

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"Face/Off"

Nicolas Cage is legitimately my favorite actor. I mean it -- I have NEVER seen a Nicolas Cage movie I didn't enjoy. Face/Off (weird title punctuation is a great indicator of so-bad-its-goodness) is probably my favorite, as it's predicated on the awesomely ubelievable premise that a FBI agent undergoes "face transplant surgery" to infiltrate a terrorist plot, only to be undermined when the criminal he is impersonating steals HIS face in the meantime. There's a scene toward the end of the movie when Travolta and Cage are wrestling on a boat and I always thought it would be awesome if they fell into the propeller blades, slicing both their faces off and causing them to fly in the air before landing on each others' faces.

"Showgirls"

I mean, obviously. I quote "Showgirls" probably once a week -- from "It's a VerSAYCE" to "Everybody got AIDS and shit" to "brown rice and vegetables," it has some of the most hilariously bizarre lines in cinematic history. One of my most fun movie theater experiences was seeing a Rocky Horror-style interactive screening of this film in Chelsea. And remember: "There's always someone younger and hungrier coming down the stairs after you."]

"Teen Witch"

I'll just leave this here:

"Just One of the Guys"

In elementary school, I actually faked sick one day to stay home from school when I knew this movie was going to be on TV. A high-school student goes undercover as a man because of feminism or something and naturally finds herself falling in love with a guy who also thinks she's a guy and has to show him her boobs while standing on a beach to prove she's a woman/titilate 11-year-old girls sneaking viewings in the Bible Belt. 

"Crossroads"

If there's one thing I love more than a bad movie, it's a bad movie with singing and/or dancing, especially if it stars a pop star. See also: "Glitter," "Honey," "From Justin to Kelly."

"White Chicks"

I can't NOT watch "White Chicks" if it's on TV. Once I even made our own Hannah Johnson come to my house and watch it on one of her NY visits. (I also fed her tater tots, so hopefully it balances out.) I just love watching everyone act like two large black men slathered in white makeup that makes them look like nightmare apparitions are perfectly passable as two white women, even to the womens' own family and friends. Also, Jennifer Carpenter is hilarious in this; she should do more comedy.


"Mitchell"

I like pretty much all the movies MST3K ever took on, and while "Manos, Hands of Fate" usually tops these good-bad lists, I am actually partial to 70s cop drama "Mitchell," starring Joe Don Baker.

"Tiptoes"

Nobody remembers this happening, but Gary Oldman played a little person, Matthew McConaughey's brother and Kate Bosworth's LOVE INTEREST in this 2003 movie. Take a moment to ponder each of those individual statements. I watched this movie while visiting LA with Alison Freer, her comedy writer boyfriend and their friend, Mad TV's Will Sasso (relevant only to explain how hilarious watching the movie with these funny people was). The worst part of it is just how bad a job they did making Gary Oldman actually seem to be a little person -- in some scenes he's obviously walking on his knees, in others he's stuck in a couch with a pair of fake legs sticking straight out at an unnatural angle, and a lot of the time he's just standing very still behind something.

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"The Craft"

It Happened to Me: I Was a Teenage Pagan. And when I wasn't "casting circles" in my front yard or complaining about the way "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" completely mocked the very real and serious concept of being a witch, I was wishing I was Fairuza Balk in "The Craft." What happened to her?! She was so cool in the 90s! 

I have like a million honorable mentions I could throw in here, but I'd rather hear from you guys. What are your favorite good-bad films? Or do you just like movies that are ACTUALLY good and win Oscars and shit?