As a Writer and Comedian, I often do extensive research to make sure my jokes are just perfect.
The other day, I was trying to come up with a real rib-tickler about how Jonathan Franzen wants to have sex with a bird. And I vaguely remembered that sometimes Tweetie would act kind of sexy in the old "Merrie Melodies" cartoons.
Naturally, I Googled "sexy bird Looney Tunes" (like one does), but what I stumbled on was not a vaguely disturbing cartoon bird being sexy, but instead, recovered memories of MISS PRISSY.
Remember her? Let me remind/enlighten you: Miss Prissy was a "love interest" for Foghorn Leghorn, who could not have been less into that bitch. Priss had a saggy, UNSEXY cartoon bird body and wore glasses and a bonnet and spoke in that weird, vaguley British accent that was meant to connote snobby edmucated types in olden times, although she was alternately depicted as super-stupid or hyperverbal.
Miss Prissy was supposed to be a sad, obsessive spinster who read too much. In most episodes, she was chasing after Foghorn, except for the one where he is super broke and wants to live off of her and drain her resources, like some kind of southern drummer chicken. In some episodes, she has an adorable nerdy gay son. (Foghorn: 'There's something kind of yeeeeeeeeeeh about a kid that's never played baseball.")
Clearly Miss Prissy is your spirit animal.
Miss Prissy or Prissy is typically described as an old spinster hen, thinner than the other hens in the chicken coop, wearing a blue bonnet and wire-rimmed glasses. The other hens describe her as “old square britches.”
OLD SQUARE BRITCHES! What a bunch of cunts! Wait, but there's more!
The premise of her cartoons are centered around the fact that the other hens are ridiculing Prissy. Her first appearance was in the 1950 short An Egg Scramble, the only cartoon featuring her and Porky Pig, in which the other hens are making fun of the fact that she cannot lay an egg.
SUPER SENSITIVE, Warner Bros! I think my favorite part of the cartoon about this fertility challenged chicken is when the other, sexier hens (I SEE YOU FRANZEN) say that she"couldn't catch a husband with a bear trap." Or maybe the part where she hits on Foghorn Leghorn by beating him with a rolling pin so he tries to make her have sex with a dog.
Miss Prissy! She's you, she's me. Franzen'd do her.