New Shows For Women We Can Expect Next Season

Now that women have buying power, what will fall 2012 bring?

Sep 28, 2011 at 6:00pm | Leave a comment

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It's finally cool to be a woman! I mean, not from a health or economic standpoint. But on TV!

Female-driven shows like "Pan Am," "New Girl," and "2 Broke Girls" are pulling in strong Nielsen ratings, which is TV talk for "people liked them and get ready for a new, pink Dorito made just for Us." I also like when people call shows "female driven" because it's also a hat-tip to the fact that we can operate motor vehicles successfully.

I tend to rely on the Mr. Nilsson Ratings, which reflect the tastes of incorrigible pet monkeys. But these numbers may mean that advertisers will finally acknowledge us as people who watch television and buy things. Based on that, here are some we can look forward to next season.

Sex Pilots
This series follows a set of swinging 1970s pilots from the heyday of pilotry, when you could smoke in planes and hospitals. But the real star of this show is the butts of the pilots, which are anachronistically thin but constantly patted by women doctors to reflect the mores of the time. Zack and Cody play the pilots.

Chippendales
You can practically smell the pina colada scented oil. This period drama is set in the heyday of the bachelorette party, a time when women were women, and the men were frightened. Glitz, glamour and Greg from "Dharma and Greg."

Hey, Where'd That Wayans Go?
Every episode of this single-camera comedy features a Wayans, who at some point mysteriously disappears, replaced by another actor.

Jeopardy: Tournament of Women

They'll take THE WORLD for $200, Alex! At one point, there will be the female version of Watson, one of those video games where Barbie is a vet.

Charlie's Angelos

This reboot of a reboot of a reboot is pretty much like "Charlie's Angels," but starring three really cut Italian guys. Also Bosley is a sleepy kitten.

Bridesmaids: The Animated Series
Remember in the 1990s when a movie that did really well got its own cartoon? Like "Teen Wolf" and "Beetlejuice?" This cartoon follows around a single baker with a weak stomach.

Shy Boy

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a handsome shy boy who moves into my apartment. The show is mostly silent as it's pretty much just us kissing and him making me a mixtape for 45 minutes.

Two GIRLS, A Guy, and a Pizza Place

Is America ready?