WOMEN IN THE NEWS (WELL, SORT OF): The Reclusive, Lonely Life Of Monica Lewinsky

New reports on the 90s tabloid star claim that she’s not particularly happy. Surprise!

Sep 9, 2011 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment

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OK, so I guess this is the week that I stop caring about beauty products and fashion shows and things and care only about about celebrities. Whatever -- don’t judge me! I don’t judge you, or at least not to your face.

Anyway, I was up late last night – as is my custom -- reading the Daily Mail, one of my favorite UK papers. They had cited a story from the National Enquirer, one of my favorite American papers. (My sentiment has always been that if you're going to go sleazy and enjoy the taboids like I do, you might as well go all the way sleazy. I also particularly enjoy The Star.)

Hate all you want, but the National Enquirer breaks really good stories all of the time – like the Tiger Woods scandal, for example. Did anyone else read that amazing Vanity Fair article about the Tiger scandal, which detailed how National Enquirer reporters watched Tiger remove a mistress’s tampon before he boned her in a church parking lot – and then how the National Enquirer reporters swooped in on the abandoned tampon after Tiger and his woman had climbed into their respective vehicles and then driven away?

And how back at National Enquirer HQ, it was the reporters’ producing the tampon that prompted NE’s legal department to OK the Tiger Woods cheating stories?

National Enquirer: I live for you.

The National Enquirer also broke the John Edwards story that detailed his affair with one of my personal bimbo heros (what?!), Rielle Hunter -- most notably that John had put Rielle on his campaign staff as documentary filmmaker and used campaign money to pay his mistress’s new salary. Yup, and the breaking of THAT story landed the NE a nomination for the Pulitzer Prize in journalism. Yes, the National Enquirer has been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.

But back to Monica.

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According to a source close to Monica cited by the Enquirer, “Monica’s self-esteem is at an all-time low.” Which is definitely pretty low if this story is true, considering that Monica was once loathed by the entire world after being exposed as a cigar-inserting White House sexpot. (For the record, Monica, I always thought you were awesome!)

According to the article, Monica, 38, now resides with her parents at the Lewinsky family’s Los Angeles home and in another Monica-owned home in New York City. Last I heard, she was living in The Archive building on Christopher Street in Manhtattan’s second-gayest neighborhood, the West Village, but that may not be the case anymore. According to the Enquirer, she has “given up her own place.” [I used to see Monica around the neighborhood and talked to her at dinner once at a local restaurant and she always seemed FINE and HAPPY. Also, a note: As someone who has been in the National Enquirer a few times, I will say that, though there is at least a grain of truth to everything they write, in my opinion (otherwise, they would get sued, and sometimes do), they use a lot of "sources close to" and such to make way more of something than is true. Again, in my opinion and experience. Yes, they do some great reporting ]

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Furthermore, Monica now spends her time flying back and forth between the two coasts “trying to work out projects that may never get off the ground.” A source say that her goal is to set up her own public relations company, which doesn’t seem like the best idea to me. I don’t know. “She says she’s been doing freelance work for a friend’s public relations company,” says a source. “And she’s got some family money, so that keeps her going.”

Moving back in with parents is something I, at least, wouldn't do unless I was clinically depressed.

Monica is apparently desperate to live down her sordid past. “She’s alone most of the time and is pretty much a social pariah.” The same source claims that Monica has more or less given up on finding a boyfriend or love: “Monica feels like she is the punchline to a dirty joke,” says the source. “The publicity over her affair with Clinton ruined her chances of ever finding a decent guy.”

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Sadly, the article tells a story about Monica making a rare appearance out at a Los Angeles restaurant recently: “An eyewitness told the Enquirer that other diners were making jokes at her expense, while she looked on emotionless. ‘She stared at her food throughout dinner and uttered maybe three sentences,’ the source says. ‘It was an awkward, uncomfortable evening.’”

Sounds awful. Let's hope that this story is -- as I suspect it to be -- sort of an exagerration. Who needs to keep picking on Monica Lewinky like that in public? Come on.

Sources also tell the Enquirer that Monica is still "in love" with Bill 17 years later -- which sounds kind of ludicrous to me. But then again, I've never been in love, so what do I know? (Wah!) (Joking.)

Anyway, it makes me sad and lonely to think about Monica being sad and lonely. It's been 13 years! Let's try to cheer her up in the comments.