Kerry Katona is amazing, and everyone else is rubbish...

Kerry Katona is BACK, people! You may not have realised she had gone anywhere, but she must have done, because now she’s BACK, BACK BACK.
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Rebecca Holman
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Kerry Katona is BACK, people! You may not have realised she had gone anywhere, but she must have done, because now she’s BACK, BACK BACK.

kerry-katona

Kerry Katona don't want no scrubs 

This week Kerry Katona has done an interview with Now magazine, in which she showcases her slim-line new look (no, I don’t have the pictures, and no I can’t be bothered to ring up the Now magazine press office to try and get hold of them, so just imagine she’s really, really thin, wearing a cat suit, and doing tiger claw hands as she’s speaking), and lets us all know that she’s fine and everyone else is rubbish.

Ex husbands Mark Croft and Bryan McFadden both come in for a slamming from Kerry – Mark was a ‘sperm donor’ who now makes her feel ‘physically sick.’ Fair enough, he was definitely a wrong ‘un.

Meanwhile she accuses Bryan McFadden of spending all of this money on loose cars and fast women, while she struggles to feed her kids on her fee for this interview her royalties from when she was in Atomic Kitten.

Oh, and then she says Katie Price is ugly, but has a fit body, or something.

Unfortunately she doesn’t use this as an opportunity to try and lure Peter Andre into her arms, which is a shame. I always like it when she does that.

But there’ll be plenty more where that came from soon enough, because Kerry. Is. Back.