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Last night, for what stretched into at least 30 horrifying seconds, "American Idol" contestant Haley Rheinhart stood to receive the judge's critiques post-performance with her red lipstick smeared for serious ALL OVER her face.
It was on her chin, it was on her right cheek, girl looked a straight mess. And while it may not seem like such a big deal in this camera-phone shots of my television, trust when I say that it was a total breach of standards of televised perfection and lingered in tight-frame focus like a horrifying abomination.
Cause you know, she was like, talking and everything and making sexy faces, totally oblivious? It's the same reason I won't wear an ugly Halloween costume -- because I dread that split second when I forget what I look like and start trying to have a serious conversation with somebody who's looking at like Billy Bob Teeth or whatever.
But the weirdest part is that J.Lo, the lone female judge, didn't say one word about it! In fact, the first thing she said to Haley was "You look so beautiful tonight! You look great!"
J.Lo, I love you girl, but help a sister out! From the look on her face, you know she's thinking about the lipstick. But she totally hangs Haley out to dry.
In the end, it was Ryan Seacrest, THE CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL, who had to come to the rescue, butting into the critique with a tissue and full-on spitting on Haley's face like somebody's mom to get her cleaned up. Ryan saw some shit going down and took action, like he always does, and this is the reason he is the greatest host on television/in the world/anywhere.
But seriously, J.Lo, it is part of our job as women to tell any woman anywhere if she has toilet paper on her shoe, her skirt is tucked into her pantyhose, or if her freaking red lipstick is smeared all over her face on national television. It is our solemn promise to each other. Respect that.