Everyone Freak Out: Flight of the Conchords Are Touring

I can't feel my face.
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Claire Lower
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I can't feel my face.
They're a bit greyer and I am HERE FOR IT. Photo: Matt Grace

They're a bit greyer and I am HERE FOR IT. Photo: Matt Grace

Alert, alert! Flight of the Conchords are reuniting for a U.S. tour, and I can't feel my face. (Click the hyperlink or scroll down to the bottom if you need to know the dates right the eff now.)

Look how happy baby Claire is.

Look how happy baby Claire is.

When I fan, I fan hard, and such was the case for "the almost award-winning fourth-most-popular folk duo in New Zealand," AKA "Flight of the Conchords," AKA "The Two Men Against Which All Others Are Judged."

I remember the first moment I laid eyes on them. I was hanging out in my friend's boyfriend's room with the two of them, and Darrell (that's the boyfriend), said "Hey Claire, you'll like this."

And like it I did.

I thought "Business Time" was one of the funniest songs I had ever heard, and went around yelling "conditions are perfect!" for about a month. (I am still oddly drawn to that particular lyric, and reference it often. I recommend shouting it out real quick before jumping your partners bones.)

When the show aired on HBO my obsession went full on Mel.

I even entered and won a Flight of the Conchords lip syncing contest, which was featured on HBO comedy. Oh, what's that? You want to see my entry? You're gonna regret it but okay. (Shoutout to my organic lab partner for being the absolute best in this. Ronnie, you are truly wonderful.)

And here is what was aired:

I was devastated when they cancelled the show, though I appreciate them quitting while they were ahead. They've both stayed busy since with composing and vampire movies, but I still long for those heady HBO-fueled nights.

My point is I'm very excited about this tour and I think we should celebrate with some of the finest tunes to ever come out of New Zealand. Here are my ten favorites:

1. "If You're Into It"

All humor aside, this may be the most realistically tender love song ever written. Also that little piano.

2. "The Most Beautiful Girl (In The Room)"

True story, when I went to see FOTC in Tampa, my friend got Jemaine to sign her poster with "To Danielle, the most beautiful girl (in the room)" and I will forever be jealous.

3. "Rambling Through the Avenues of Time"

The thing that has always impressed me about Bret and Jemaine is their ability to emulate almost any musical style without doing a direct parody. Rather than simply change out the lyrics to a Police song, they create their own song in the style of the Police, and it's amazing. 

The above isn't in the style of The Police, but Peter Sarstedt, which is why I love it doubly. (Triply really, because "Your beard, it is woven of heartache" is almost too perfect.)

4. "You Don't Have to Be a Prostitute"

Speaking of that Police parody.

5. "Carol Brown"

This is just a beautiful, well-written song and happens to me from one of my favorite episodes ever, "Unnatural Love," which happened to be directed by Michel Gondry.

6. Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)

 Also from that same episode, "Too Many Dicks" was the dance party anthem we deserved. I have since lost my "Too Many Dicks" shirt, and am still pretty devastated.

7. "Sugalumps"

JEMAINE'S DANCING.

8. "Cheer Up Murray"

Pretty much everyone on that show was flawless, and Rhys Darby was no exception. This lesser know ditty focuses on Murray and his troubles, and the reaction shots are a thing of beauty.

9. "We're Both In Love With A Sexy Lady"

So many choice lyrics. "All I know dog is that she's careless with her dog" and "There's no such name is Barbara" being among my favorites.

10. Inner City Pressure

The Pet Shop Boys wish. 

I could go on and on and on and just keep watching and posting videos all day, but let's get to gabbing. What are your favorite Flight of the Conchords moments? Will you be attending this tour? Can you feel your face or am I the only one having issues?

Tour Dates

06/11/16 Cleveland, OH State Theatre
06/12/16 Philadelphia, PA Mann Center for Performing Arts
06/13/16 Washington, DC Wolftrap – Filene Center
06/14/16 Columbus, OH Palace Theatre
06/16/16 Detroit, MI Fox Theatre
06/17/16 Minneapolis, MN Orpheum
06/18/16 Milwaukee, WI Riverside Theater
06/19/16 Chicago, IL Pritzker Pavilion
06/22/16 Redmond, WA Marymoor Park Concerts
06/23/16 Vancouver, BC Orpheum
06/24/16 Portland, OR Keller Auditorium
06/27/16 San Francisco, CA The Masonic
07/01/16 Santa Barbara, CA Santa Barbara Bowl
07/02/16 San Diego, CA Cal Coast Credit Union Open Air
07/03/16 Phoenix, AZ Comerica Theatre
07/05/16 Morrison, CO Red Rocks Amphitehatre
07/07/16 Kansas City, MO Starlight Theatre
07/09/16 Austin, TX Bass Hall
07/11/16 New Orleans, LA Saenger Theatre
07/12/16 Atlanta, GA Chastain Park Amphitheatre
07/14/16 Nashville, TN Ascend Amphitheatre
07/16/16 Boca Raton, FL Mizner Park Amphiteater
07/17/16 St. Augustine, FL St. Augustine Amphitheatre
07/18/16 Cary, NC Koka Booth Amphitheatre
07/22/16 Newport, RI Newport Folk Fest
07/23/16 Boston, MA Blue Hills Bank Pavilion
07/24/16 New York, NY Central Park
07/27/16 Los Angeles, CA Greek Theatre