Some things in this world just aren’t meant to be shared with others. You know, details about your recent bowel movement, salary info, your boyfriend (I mean, unless you’re into that). Another one of those things is our Google search history.
Maybe you momentarily forgot how to spell orange or needed the lyrics to a 1D song so you could sing along to it. Maybe you just needed to make sure that weird growth isn’t anything to worry about. Nothing to be ashamed of, but also nothing you necessarily want the world to see.
Normally, I wouldn’t jump at the chance to open up my most private Internet searches to, well, the Internet. But 2014 is over, a whole new year has started, I might as well come clean and start fresh, right?
So here are some of the things I googled this year:
1. "What to make with lettuce (not salad)"
What can I say? I know what I want — and I did not want salad.
I think this started as a Pinterest search after I accidentally bought a head of lettuce when there was already half of one in my crisper. After coming up with 27 variations of Caesar and Cobb salads, I took to the Google.
What did Google teach me? Basically that you can pretend tacos are healthy by using big lettuce leafs instead of tortillas. Sure, maybe they are a little healthier, just not when you eat six.
Here’s a cool BuzzFeed article with lots of neat lettuce recipes — and they’re not salads.
2. "Is Jennifer Lawrence actually cool?"
I’m a little mad at myself for even doubting J-Law’s coolness. But how can someone be so beautiful, so talented, and so hilarious? It just doesn’t seem fair!
I googled this expecting to find a few diva-like experiences about the starlet. Maybe she threw a fit because they didn’t have the right snack on The Hunger Games set. Or perhaps she got super wasted at some supercool Hollywood club and pulled the “Do you know who I am?” card.
But nope, nothing. She’s humble and charming and, according to multiple articles on the Internet, we should all want to be her best friend.
3. "Jian Ghomeshi Teddy Bear"
Like many Canadians, I was a fan of Ghomeshi’s radio show, so when the news surfaced about the sexual assault claims against him, I was pretty confused and disgusted.
Following the story pretty closely, I learned about “Big Ears,” Ghomeshi’s teddy bear that had its own Twitter account and tweeted about the alarming accounts of victims’ experiences. Google didn’t lack in any information about this topic.
According to multiple articles, the stuffed companion had to avert his eyes whenever Ghomeshi brought a woman home with him. Creepy.
4. "Sassy cats"
Everyone should search this. Now.
I’m not exactly sure why I needed to see these images, probably something to do with my love for cats and sass. The Internet delivered on this one though, that’s for sure.
5. "Awesome cat names"
If I know anything about the Internet in 2014, it’s that cats ruled. So I guess that’s why I have multiple cat-related searches in my history. “Awesome cat names” came about when my roommate and I briefly considered getting a pet (our busy lifestyles and litter-box phobias quickly put an end to that idea).
Some of the names I’d consider if I were getting a furry friend, though, are:
6. "Lorde newspaper message"
I was always a fan of Lorde. She intrigues me. She’s kind of dark and weird, with a really unique voice. Although she made 2014 her year, I never paid a lot of attention to her publicity.
When I saw her perform at Osheaga (she was incredible), a friend mentioned how thankful she truly seemed to have such a huge fan base and talked about a newspaper ad she posted in a New Zealand paper a few months ago.
It’s nice to see such a public display of appreciation and love for the little people, isn’t it? Go Lorde!
7. "Hot yoga and your period"
This definitely falls in the category of Google searches you don’t want people to know you searched — but I’m here to bare it all!
I do a lot of hot yoga and I’ve been practicing it for about two years now, so it’s a wonder I didn’t Google this before 2014. Don’t worry ladies, it’s fine to practice hot yoga during that time of the month as long as you listen to your body. Moksha and Bikram experts suggest taking it a little slower on those days in case you’re feeling tired or irritable. They also mention that the heat can help with cramps! Woo!
8. "Taylor Swift's 'Blank Space'"
I googled this for two reasons:
1. To prove that although it sounds like it in the song, she does not sing about Starbucks.
2. To find the meaning of the song — it’s actually pretty clever.
T. Swift is basically mocking all of the misogynistic comments people throw her way because she writes about heartbreak and ex-boyfriends.
9. "Can mice climb walls?"
They kind of can…
10. "Can you die from a hangover?"
Luckily, you can’t. Although sometimes you may want to…
These are just a handful of things I’ve scoured the Internet for; I’m sure I left out a few insanely embarrassing ones. For the most part though, my Google search history contains cats and food.
What did you google in 2014?