Jennifer Hall Is The Weirdest Person I Have Ever Met

The "Up All Night" actress only paints spoons, she likes to measure people's noses and she feels "sorry for me" because I use a manual toothbrush. I don't even know what happened in this interview.

Mar 14, 2012 at 4:00pm | Leave a comment

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I don't mean any disrespect toward Ms. Hall with that headline. I love her. Today she Tweeted "You're so weird. Can we be friends?" at me, and I nearly hyperventilated. And as an actress she is scene-stealingly hilarious. But it cannot be denied that the lady is weird. In a good way! Delightfully bizarre. Which would also be a good way to describe her character on "Up All Night," where she plays Maya Rudolph's frazzled, perpetually-on-the-edge-of-a-nervous-breakdown assistant, Missy.

Maybe it's Hall's own offbeat take on life that inspires the show's writer's to keep pushing Missy into stranger and stranger territory, resulting in some surreal, "Creed on 'The Office'"-like moments, like when she has a mini-meltdown and starts smashing vases and flipping tables when she thinks Christina Applegate's Reagan is going to fire her.

She's also something of a modern-day renaissance woman -- she acts, paints, writes songs with her husband and used to be in JT Leroy's band, Thistle LLC. And for years, she's been co-running Jenny and Jimbob's Outrageously Original Matchbox Necklaces, a jewelry company she started with her husband. (If you spot Missy wearing one of the necklaces on the show, and leave the name of the necklace along with its slogan from the website on the Facebook page, you win that necklace for free.)

Anyway, she was really fun and funny to talk to -- enjoy!

Emily: I’m a big fan of your character on up all night. Missy is so funny and awesome.

Jennifer: I’ve been really lucky to do some either controversial or really stand-out roles on some really popular TV shows. They love giving Missy a total U-Turn. Right when you think you know her, suddenly you have no idea. I have had a safety meeting almost every episode. I always have a stunt or I’m breaking a board or I’m handling dangerous equipment.

Emily: It seems like you do a little bit of everything in the world. You are an actress, you sing and you have a jewelry company--

Jennifer: I also paint. Actually, I only paint spoons.

Emily: You paint spoons?

Jennifer: Yeah, I have hundreds of portraits of spoons. I did the seven deadly spoons and I have done spoon god and spoon Mary and Spoon-ddah. My house is completely covered in spoon paintings.

Emily: Why?

Jennifer: I don’t know. When I first started to paint, I wanted to paint people but I realized people were really hard to paint, so I thought I could paint a spoon because a spoon is kind of like a person with one leg. So I started painting a spoon the first time. And then when I was finished with that spoon, I looked at it and I was like “You know, I think I can do a better job.” So I started painting a spoon again and then every time, I saw something I could have done better, so I just kept painting spoons. I have sold spoon paintings for years at farmers markets. I get people who come up to me and I think they are going to say that the recognize me from "Up All Night,: but then they are like “I bought a spoon painting from you at the Hollywood farmers market."

 Emily: Do you think that you will ever paint like, a fork?

Jennifer: I don’t know. I don’t have it in me for forks, I don’t think.

Emily: That’s one of the weirdest things I have ever heard.
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Jennifer: I know; its really strange. But I just cant stop. And my boyfriend, who is now my husband, is a fine jeweler. So I came up with a really quirky jewelry line that consists of normal household appliances, like a toilet, but I made them really cute. And then made them in gold, like 24-karat gold.

Emily: Why household appliances?

Jennifer: Well I just like ordinary things that are done extraordinarily. Normal stuff with a new spin.  We make one with a meat cleaver on it that says serious cleavage. That is a huge enormous seller. And the toilet that says the shit, that's a really big seller, too.

Emily: How did you meet your husband?

Jennifer: Through friends. His name is Jim-Bob, and my friend who knew us both said that we were the male and female version of each other. I have this thing where I like to measure peoples noses with my fingers, like between the thumb and the forefinger and make a silhouette of it. Then put it on my face to see what their nose would be like on my face. So I did that to him and he looked at me cross-eyed. And he said "You are the strangest person I have ever met." So then we moved in together.

Emily: What’s it like running a business together?

Jennifer: It's insane. Aside from the time I’m on set, I spend every single waking moment with him. And I’m like, "Are people really supposed to spend this much time together?" We are both really passionate so we get into really embarrassing crazy fights. Us doing taxes together is a nightmare. One time he poured coffee on me when I was trying to read all of these papers. It wasn’t hot coffee. He said something to me, so I took the tea bag out of my tea and I accidently threw it at him. I tried to throw it at the garbage but it ended up hitting him in the face, and then he poured his not-hot coffee onto the paper I was trying to read, because we were doing taxes. So we solved that problem by not doing our own taxes anymore. Our fights never last that long, because they are so ridiculous.

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Emily: What's the closest you've ever come to being arrested?

Jennifer: Probably my fist fight. I got kicked out of cheerleading for fist fighting. It was a girl who made fun of my best friend. So I went up to her to confront her and I don’t remember who threw the first punch. But we started fist fighting, and I’m really bad -- I would fight me in a heartbeat -- but she gave me two black eyes. All I did was rip her dress. They kicked me off of cheerleading.

Emily: What pills do you take everyday?

Jennifer: I try to take my multi-vitamins, but I forget. I can’t remember to do anything every day. But I try to take multi-vitamins and folic acid. And I brush my teeth every day. Oh god, I just got a Sonicare brush. Do you still brush like, manually?

Emily: Yeah...

Jennifer: Oh, girl.

Emily: What!?

Jennifer: You haven’t lived yet. I really feel sorry for you. The Sonicare toothbrush. I try not to brush my teeth five times a day because I think that’s probably not good for you. But it feels like you just came home from the dentist every single time you brush your teeth. And they didn’t give me a free toothbrush. I bought it with my own money. I bought them as Christmas presents. I love them. I called people and was like “What’s your toothbrushing sitch”?

Emily: What’s the grossest thing in your purse?

Jennifer: Used tea bag. I like to recycle my tea bags. They are good for more than one dip, you know. Really good tea bags are better the second dip.

Emily: Who is on your celebs to make out with list?

Jennifer: Well, my my dad left when I was really young, so my first two crushes were David Letterman and Tom Selleck. And Brett the Hitman Hart, from WWF wrestling. Those were my first three crushes.

Emily: What’s the weirdest thing you do when you are alone?

Jennifer: I look up pictures of chickens. Like different kinds of chickens. McmurrayHatchery.com is my favorite website. And Jim-Bob, my husband, calls it my chicken porn because he can hear me in the middle of the night in the other room going “...Oooooh.”  I have wanted to get one for years. But you can’t just buy one. You have to buy like 20. I was trying to get some people to going in on it with me. But no one I know is interested in getting a chicken.

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