8 Ways "Say Anything" Would’ve Been Different If It Were Made In 2014

In 2014, there would most certainly be an iPad and Sonos involved.

Aug 6, 2014 at 11:30am | Leave a comment

This weekend, I watched the 1989 John Cusack movie Say Anything for the first time. I enjoyed it immensely, but I couldn’t help notice how many of the things that make the movie so compelling would’ve fallen flat in 2014. Thus, to keep the classicness up to speed with the modern dating scene, here are 8 ways Cameron Crowe’s romantic comedy might’ve been different had it been made this year:
 
1. Early on in the movie, Lloyd calls up Diane in order to ask her out. Clearly, since they weren’t exactly friends, he got Diane Court’s home phone number via the Yellow Pages.
 
(11 Signs You’re An Introvert In 1989: #7. You couldn’t even imagine life without The Yellow Pages!)
 
In 2014, it’d be highly unlikely 2014 Lloyd would’ve had Diane’s cell. Meaning, he would’ve had to:
 
  • Ask her out via Facebook message (gross)
  • Resort to another bold way
Given Lloyd’s uncanny idealism and self-confidence, I think he would’ve asked her out via some sort of clever YouTube video proposal. Lloyd would’ve set the proposal to unlisted, but it’d somehow manage to go viral (these are 18 year-olds we’re talking about), severely embarrassing both Lloyd and Diane in the process.
 
Lloyd would’ve been crushed, and the self-confidence that carries him through the whole movie would be shattered within the first 15 minutes.
 
2. When Lloyd first takes Diane out, her highly protective father asks that she check in via phone call (which she does). Upon returning, Diane tells her father about the night and about Lloyd, but artfully refrains from going into the actual specifics of the raucous party they attended.
 
This would not be necessary in 2014, as Mr. Court clearly would’ve installed some sort of live streaming app that would alert Mr. Court of his daughter’s whereabouts — complete with an emergency alert for every time she took a step with her left foot.
 
3. Towards the end of their first date, Lloyd notices some glass in the parking lot, and makes sure Diane doesn’t step in it. This is a crucial moment in the movie, as Diane recalls this moment as the thing that makes Lloyd different from all the other guys.
 
In 2014, there’s no question Lloyd would’ve been scrolling through his twitter feed. It’d probably take him at least 3 seconds to notice the massive gash on Diane’s foot.
 
4. Lloyd doesn’t know what to do with his life, so he gets really into kickboxing. In 2014, he’d be way too busy managing his kickboxing blog to actually kickbox.
 
5. One of their extreme bonding moments is when Lloyd teaches Diane how to drive her new car (it’s a stick shift). Kids don’t drive cars anymore, so this scene would likely revolve around fixed gear bicycles.
 
6. Their “song,” which becomes pretty key in the movie, is the 1986 Peter Gabriel classic “In Your Eyes” — a song that reached #1 on billboard’s mainstream rock charts in September of ’86, and peaked at #26 on the Billboard Hot 100 in November of 2011.
 
 
We would obviously need to update the song to reflect the current zeitgeist. Since there was a 3 year gap between the song release and movie release dates, here are some songs from 2011 that rank similarly in popularity:
 
  • "The Lazy Song" – Bruno Mars
  • "6 Foot 7 Foot" – Lil Wayne ft. Corey Gunz
  • "Who Says"– Selena Gomez ft. The Scene
My guy says Selena takes the crown, and is what ends up being played by Miles Teller (the new John Cusack) on the boombox
 
7. Speaking of the famous boombox scene, it was recreated in the recent Emma Stone flick Easy A.
 
 
In Easy A (spoiler), Penn Badgley’s character pays homage to Say Anything and The Breakfast Club by playing the breakfast club theme, through laptop speakers in the same way John Cusack did at the end of Say Anything
 
This, however, was done in 2010. In 2014, there would most certainly be an iPad and Sonos involved.
 
8. At the end of the movie, Lloyd accompanies Diane to England, where she is pursuing her fellowship. Obviously this is great for their relationship, but it’s also a very good thing for Diane adjustment-wise, as she presumably knows nobody else doing the fellowship.
 
Had this been 2014, Diane would’ve already known plenty of people in the fellowship via the Facebook group. She likely would’ve made a few friends on the FB group, thus making the adjustment slightly easier — so that upon getting to England, she could avoid eye contact with them for the next four years. 
 
 
Reprinted with permission from Thought Catalog. Want more?