I Had To Make My Own Pop Tart Ice Cream Sandwich, Because Nothing Good Ever Comes To Florida.

I can't get the Carl's Jr. Pop Tart Ice Cream Sandwich here in Florida, so I'm making my own (and it's better).

Jul 30, 2013 at 12:00pm | Leave a comment

Oh, hey there, party people.
 
I bet you all thought I was done eating ridiculous things. I mean, what has it been? A month? Too long, anyway. My last few posts have been about music and feelings and other nonsense.
 
 
But don’t worry, I am back, and I brought ice cream sandwiches!
 
Sometimes I miss certain culinary establishments that I used to enjoy in Los Angeles. A few that come to mind are Fred 62, Zankou Chicken, In & Out, Los Burritos, etc. Sometimes I even miss Jack in the Box.
 
But never Carl’s Jr. I do not miss Carl's Jr. We have Hardee’s here, which is basically the same thing, but I don’t go there either.
 
But this may change all of that.
 
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Photo from FoodBeast

 
Bold move, Carl’s Jr., bold move indeed. Almost genius in its simplicity.
 
But of course I can’t obtain this stoner’s dream. Hardee’s is not serving this particular item at this particular time in this particular place, so I had no choice to make my own.
 
And you know, like five other crazy ice-cream sandwiches. Don’t call me a hero.
 
1. Pop-Tart Ice Cream Sandwich
 
We will begin with this guy, since he is blowin’ up my Twitter feed. It’s pretty straightforward: You cut a Pop-Tart (strawberry, use blueberry and I just can’t with you) in half and put ice cream in between the halves, right?
 
Wrong! You beat Carl’s Jr. at their own depraved game by TOASTING this TOASTER PASTRY.
 
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That’s called “Malliard browning,” son.
 
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Shut up, Carl.

 
THEN you devour. Yeah, the ice cream is going to melt all over your face and your index finger may get a little burnt but it’s worth it, my friend. 
 
Sandwich Grade: NOW THERE’S NOT EVEN BREATHING ROOM/BETWEEN PLEASURE AND PAIN.
 
2. Doughnut Ice Cream Sandwich
 
You fancy New Yorkers with your fancy cronuts and your doughnut ice cream sandwiches. You think you’re so special. And you’re right, those two things make you pretty special. 
 
But I can be special, too, New Yorkers.  
 
I could have gone a really basic route with this and scooped some ice cream into a halved doughnut, and it would have been good. But you babes deserve better. 
 
You deserve this sexy beast.
 
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Those are grillmarks.

 
This is what you do:
 
You halve two donuts and take the top of each one. This way you maximize your glaze to tongue contact.
 
Then you grill those halves, glaze side down. This gives you a crispy glaze shell around your now slightly warm and completely soft doughnut.
 
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I never said I was a role model.

 
THEN you add ice cream.
 
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The grilling really makes a difference.

 
THEN you thank me.
 
I can't even tell you how important the grilling is here. Do not, under any circumstances, skip the grilling. It is key. It is life changing.
 
Sandwich Grade: I am a golden god.
 
3. Rice Crispy Treat Ice Cream Sandwich
 
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Mental preperation.

 
Okay, this one is pretty simple, and honestly I’m ashamed I didn’t make my own treats, but I wanted to get this hard-hitting journalism to you as soon as possible.
 
The only special thing I did here was smoosh the treats to create a larger surface area on which ice cream could sit.
 
Not everything I do is groundbreaking.
 
Sandwich Grade: Simple. Satisfying. Sublime. 
 
4. Waffle Ice Cream Sandwich (Two Kinds!)
 
If you are looking for a more neutral vessel with which to deliver ice cream to your mouth, I recommend a fluffy Belgian waffle. The frozen Publix brand is quite nice. You toast it (OBVIOUSLY, CLAIRE) and (once more now) put ice cream in it.
 
EXCEPT YOU NEED TO DRIZZLE IT WITH REAL MAPLE SYRUP. 
 
Because it's a waffle. And I'm a professional.
 
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This is straight up food porn at this point.

 
Sandwich Grade: I've figured out why Sean married me.
 
But if you crave a sweeter delivery system, I have a different (tinier) waffle for you.
 
 
I love these little caramel filled guys. The only issue is that the caramel freezes and hardens, which makes this whole situation a little harder to chew, but I have strong teeth and no fillings, so I don't mind.
 
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I know it's Dutch, but I keep yelling "STROOPWAFEL" in my Heidi Klum voice.

 
Sandwich Grade: This one makes you (and your jaw) work for it, but that makes the reward sweeter.
 
I also want to make ice cream sandwiches out of chocolate croissants and waffle fries, but I'm only one woman, you know?
 
Which one will you try? What else should I put ice cream in between? Don't be dirty, guys.