Cake and Hate: The Pioneer Woman Gets A TV Show, Hundreds Of Hater's Heads Implode

All I wanted was the damn sheet cake recipe.

Aug 16, 2011 at 3:02pm | Leave a comment

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Ree Drummond, " The Pioneer Woman" makes this kickass chocolate cake that is the cake-iest. It's GIGANTIC because you bake it in a jelly roll pan, super decadent, moist, chocolately and just everything you want your chocolate cake to be. Especially when you are getting your Mr. Monthly. Which I may or may not be.

Every time I have made this cake it vanishes within a day because everyone loves it so. I can spend five hours constructing and meringue-ing the perfect Baked Alaska and all anyone ever wants is the Pioneer Woman cake.

It's a cinch to make, and I usually have all the ingredients on hand. But I often forget to bookmark recipes and have to search for them again to make sure I have my measurements correct (baking is a science, yo). So somehow, while searching for the cake I took a wrong turn in INTERNETSVILLE and ended up reading a mess of blog posts about why Ree Drummond is the devil, the most evil woman on earth, a fake, phony, Bitchy McBitchface, liarpants and all around TERRIBLE TERRIBLE PERSON.

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I think because:

1: She makes money off her blog.

2: She lives on a pretty ranch and we don't.

3: She may or may not have outside help, like housekeepers and nannies.

4: She has really pretty hair.

So haters gon' hate and good lawd they do. They analyze every detail this woman has ever written, dig into her family's tax records, pick apart the fat and sodium content of every single recipe she posts, criticize her homeschooing practices, make fun of her earrings, her dog, her mentally disabled brother. I know when you make your private life public on the Internet you invite all sorts of creepy people into your world, but that still doesn't give someone the right to sit behind their computer and play MEAN GIRL all day and pick apart every single thing Ms. Drummond has written, ever.

I'm not a PW groupie. I have never posted on her blog, and to be honest its not the first place I check to find new recipes (That would be smittenkitchen.com).

But I don't care if she makes eleventy million dollars selling ad space on her blog, I don't care if she bedazzles every tractor on her ranch in diamonds, I don't care if she sells another cookbook, sells the rights to a movie based on her life, posts a recipe for lard-covered lard dipped in lard. At the end of the day she is just a human dealing with the occasional pimple, menstrual cramp and knowledge of the inevitable fact we all die. Plus, she makes a really good cake.

And look, I love to hate. I'm a professional. I've been snarky and bitchy and made fun of people's shoes on the internet. But I choose my victims to spew my vitriol at wisely, and as Dorothy Parker once quipped " If you can't say anything nice about Michelle Bachman, Michael Vick, or Glenn Beck, then come sit by me." I've got some really yummy chocolate cake to share with you.

(PS: "The Pioneer Woman" premieres Saturday, August 27th at 11:30AM ET/PT, on Food Network.)