Think you've seen everything there is that could ever be printed on a t-shirt? You actually haven't, because there's still one final t-shirt frontier to be conquered -- your face.
Well, that's technically my face, but you can now have your very own face (or the face of anyone you love/hate) emblazoned on a t-shirt, tank top or sweatshirt using a dye sublimation process that produces a crystal clear, photo-realistic image from any picture you can manage to upload to your computer.
The clever souls behind this wonderful yet slightly repulsive idea are actually a Canadian company called Shelfies. They are based in Toronto, which explains why they are offering what they call the Rob Ford Crack Commandments "sweater" for sale. (It's really a sweatshirt.) Canadians: calling a sweatshirt a sweater for reasons unknown since god knows when.
The possibilities here are clearly endless. You could upload a photo of your own naked torso from neck to waist in order to go out "nude" in public, or submit a close-up of your own eyeball or the inside of your mouth as a sort of subversive selfie. I happen to have a handy photo of the inside of my mouth at the ready, because I got a filling and was trying to look at it. Why would I even consider using a mirror when my phone is so handy?
I'm pretty seriously considering getting a shirt with my dog Casey's face all over it, because he is just so darn handsome that I cannot even stand it.
Although I actually think I'm going to go for the tank top version:
If you aren't feeling your own face, (and who could blame you, this is the stuff of serial killers) Shelfies offers a range of other stomach-churningly realistic garments for your wearing pleasure. I'm partial to the foodstuffs, but they have a whole range of weird-ass stuff on their site.
But Shelfies isn't the only company getting in on the photographic clothing trend. You can also casually lounge around your own home in a super cozy pepperoni pizza or gummy-bear printed onesie from Beloved Shirts.com:
Alternatively, you could hit the town in a pair of their sugar cube or sprinkle-printed leggings:
If there's not a single person, pet or foodstuff in your life that you deem shirt-worthy, don't fret. You can always just order this t-shirt plastered with pics of everyone's favorite feminist boyfriend:
Let's just close this post by saying that I once saw Ryan Gosling singing Christmas carols to a bunch of kids in hospital beds. SWOON CITY.
* A very special thanks to the lovely @SomerSherwood for finding this crazy gem in the bowels of the Interwebz in the first place!
I'm on Twitter: @IveyAlison