Silly women in silly shoes

At this point in my life I know that if wearing something will hinder my basic mobility, I probably shouldn't be wearing it.
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Kelly Morris
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At this point in my life I know that if wearing something will hinder my basic mobility, I probably shouldn't be wearing it.

Walking along the Strand on my lunch break a few weeks ago I couldn't help notice an attractive, well dressed woman on the other side of the street. The reason I noticed her was the way she was moving. Almost as if she couldn't lift her feet off the ground and was dragging herself along the road. “Poor thing” I thought, “I wonder what's wrong with her.” It was only as I crossed over I noticed that in fact no, there was no disability. Nothing was physically wrong with her, apart from the fact she was wearing a pair of heels that she couldn't walk in.

Now I'm all for injecting a bit of glamour into your life, work clothes can be dull, but really, are crippling killer heels at 12.34 on a drizzly Wednesday the way to do it?

She had quite obviously deluded herself into thinking she was looking pretty hot and was choosing to interpret the “women and shoes” tuts and eyerolls of the local office boys, as admiring glances.

For me this woman was the final straw and I feel it's time for those of us with brains to declare war on silly women in silly shoes.

naomi-falling-over

Naomi Campbell falling over in silly shoes

Don't get me wrong; I've got nothing against heels. I own many and granted, some I can't walk in, who doesn't? The thing is at this point in my life I know that if wearing something will hinder my basic mobility, I probably shouldn't be wearing it.

Of course to reach this level of shoe-based maturity you have to learn some hard lessons, you have to be that “woman in stupid shoes”. My epiphany came when I managed to hugely embarrass myself by falling to the floor during a try-on sesh in Topshop. This was coupled with several very undignified attempts to change shoes on the street in the pouring rain in front of boys I fancied. So now I only wear shoes I can walk in - just a little rule I try to live by, and I think others should do the same.

The fact is if the wire from your bra was cutting you, you wouldn't stand for it; and if your skirt was so tight you couldn't walk in it, you'd take it off. Ladies, it's time to do the same with shoes.

Granted heels are sexy, they're slimming, they elongate the leg, they (on the whole) give you terrific posture, but the truth is if you can't actually walk in them the opposite is true and you make womankind look very silly indeed.

Ask yourself honestly, when was the last time you saw a man hobbling up the road due to his choice of footwear? *Ahem? Never? Exactly.