Since I love garments that resemble anything a hooker from the '70s or Kate Hudson from "Almost Famous" would wear -- including red star panties ONLY -- when I saw this coat on Tobi.com I was thought, NEED NEED NEED NEED.
Only problem? I'm a little strapped for cash right now. After 5 months of living in L.A. and relying solely on public transportation, Uber, Lyft, and um, my boyfriend as a chauffeur (JEEZ, no wonder we broke up), I finally bought a car this month. It only took 4 hours of negotiating and a little bit of crying.
Then, once I became an "independent woman" or single or whatever, and Dude and I had to go around the apartment splitting up furniture (so much fun, right?), it was decided he would take the bed, which was the most expensive item in our place. (Don't fret, I got pretty much everything else. He's a wonderful person and wouldn't screw me over like that.)
Still, ouch! Now I had another pricey purchase to make.
I'm admittedly an emotional, and extremely impulsive, shopper. When my apartment got robbed in Bushwick a couple years ago, for example, and my precious, extension-of-me laptop was taken, I literally went into the Apple store, pointed to the priciest Macbook Air, said "That one," and made the purchase in under 4 minutes. While the Apple guy was ringing me up, he asked if I had any discounts -- a student ID, company-type deal, whatever.
"No," I said. "Just ring that bitch up." He sighed, all concerned-like, and I swiped my stupid evil credit card.
Same sort of deal happened with the bed: I go into the store, lay on like, one of them, shoot up quickly and yell to the store manager, "YUP, RING THIS BITCH UP!" I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes. (Hm, no wonder I can't sleep?)
ANYWAY. I see this coat, and thought, NEED, but then -- stop! You do not have the money for these sort of things, I told myself.
But rather than x out the window or put it in my shopping cart or post it to Pinterest to pretend like I own it, in some virtual way at least, I texted it to various friends:
Quite obviously, the nudge from my friend was enough to add more debt to my credit card. I also dig that demonic emoji, don't you?
Even though, again, I have exactly 0 friends in L.A., as I've been totally isolated and making no effort to connect to other people -- and also HAD been working from home -- the distance between my friends and I hasn't proven to be enough for us to enable one another to shop.
A few days later, I got this text from my BFF in NYC, too:
I found the pattern humorous at the time. When seriously considering it, though, isn't needing validation from your friends to buy clothes kind of sad? It's like when I used to pace between my roommate's and my bedroom in NYC, asking, "Is this cute?" "Should I wear this tonight?" "This isn't too short and slutty, right?"
Once I lived with my boyfriend (inevitably asking the same slew of questions) and he got super annoyed, I realized it was a little pathetic. Like I can't make my own decisions, or I'm so unsure and self-conscious that I need my ego stroked in order to get dressed -- or to even buy something.
I do really love this coat though.
So, what do you think: Is this weird? Is this me being a 25-year-old and eventually I'll be 30 and my whole life will make sense and I'll stop needing so much external validation (HAHAHHA)?
Enable me on Twitter, please: @caitlinthornton