In case you mooches forgot, we've got $2,000 worth of designer Diesel jeans lying around just waiting to be soiled by your grubby paws. We want to give them to you, because between Cat's mountains of beauty products and my piles of sex toys and all those jeans, we can barely see Jane anymore.
And perhaps, like me, you do not think of yourself as a jeans-wearer, because you like to flounce around in little dresses and high heels and court sexual attention from strangers, but I say to you, look upon the proof that beauty can also be effortless. It has to be, when you're raising the kind of child who will someday try your patience daily by writing sentences like the previous.
Behold, my mom in her young suburban mother dark denim, looking chic and fresh as a daisy. My dad's cowboy boots are quite snappy, too.
Apparently it is my second birthday in the below picture. I really don't understand children's ages, I would have guessed 4. I'm huge!
The funny thing is that in these photos, especially the one below where I am still a baby, I am sure my mom felt anything but stylish. She probably just wanted a freaking nap. I know this is true, because I asked her.
"I don't remember anything in particular about these specific jeans but I normally only had 1 or 2 pair since they did not qualify as work attire for me. Having always struggled with my weight, I was always just excited to find a pair that fit and were long enough. For some reason, the larger sizes always tended to be short. Hello, larger women can still be tall!"
Hear that, moms.
Still, she looks amazing; glowy, as Cat would say. It's enough to make me rethink denim. But alas, I cannot win the giveaway due to stupid rules and the fact that I already get paid or whatever. But there's still time for you!
Just head back to the original giveaway post, leave a comment, and get all your freaking friends to "like" it. The 10 winners will be the 10 people with the most likes -- it's all very attainable. So do it! [The highest-rated comment in this contest currently has 55 likes and I know you all have a lot more friends than that. Hundreds if not thousands of them. If they are your friends, they can do this for you. You know what I mean? ]