My entire life, I have never been thin. I have a gigantic rack, a tummy that has never been flat and thighs that I'll euphemistically call 'bountiful' or some shit. I've never felt much body shame to be honest and I love clothes that show off my various bits and bobs. It's a running joke with my classier friends that I have my ass showing at least 85% of the time, but it's OK because I wear opaques for 11.5 months of the year. And they're like trousers, right?
So, yeah, I love bodycon, but I also love slouchy shit that makes me look at least two sizes bigger. It's comfortable and, right now, it's on-trend (eugh) so I buy it and I wear it. It's easy to wear a huge jumper with a statement necklace and feel like you're wearing 'a look'.
The thing is, I hate feeling like people might see me and think “oh, she's trying to cover up her problem areas with that chunky sweater” because I want them to understand that the only thing I am covering up is my rockin' nakedness, because of warmth and social norms and public nudity laws. But obviously I'm not going to actually go up to a stranger and tell them that, because I think it might be illegal to say “rockin' nakedness” to a stranger.
Still, I see the looks I get from the skinny girls who work on my floor. You know, the ones who are all hair and cool jeans and laughs. I'm not being paranoid, dude, I see the way they look at my purposefully-two-sizes-too-big fisherman jumper and that makes me more insecure than the reality of my body ever could.
Sometimes I'll throw a chunky sweater together with one of my trusty jersey tube skirts, because I like to play with the proportion (also, I have a good butt and have finally managed to find totally seamfree shortie knickers) but sometimes I'll wear a big jumper with a more volumey skirt because I'm feeling volume that day. I look in the mirror when I'm wearing a chunky oversized knit with a skater skirt and I see instant Winter Cute Chic.
I was trying on a dress in Topshop the other day, and I heard this over-critical mum berating her daughter because “darling, that sweater dress makes you look at least two sizes too big” and the daughter was like “but I love it, it's so cool and comfy and warm”. I saw them at the till, and the daughter (who was probably a size 8, by the way) wasn't buying the sweater dress. And I thought to myself “Two sizes too big. Too big for what?” and that made me at least two sizes too sad.
Think about how 'curvy' and 'larger' celebrities are discussed in the media: Kim Kardashian “pours her curves” but Adele wears garments that “skim her body”. Is it inconceivable that maybe Adele just likes that style? Or does she have to be hiding herself, her body?
The idea of clothing isn't just to show or hide our bodies. It's to express who we are as people. When I wear my heavy, thick sweaters and oversized shirts, I'm not trying to hide myself. I'm trying to show you who I am.
Also, they're really cool and comfy and warm.