I would like to enlist your assistance in finding the perfect pair of sexy-but-not-slutty, full-coverage-y-but-not-granny, luxe-fabric-y professional lady full-butt underwear. Also - and I feel like I have to say this - I know the fashion world loves thongs, but I don't. My butt looks ugly in them, I hate having something in my crack all the time and my cheeks get cold. And don't even get me started on how you can ALWAYS tell when someone is wearing a thong, which, IMHO, negates the point of wearing them in the first place. But whatevs. Bottom line, I know you have the answer.

YES, I can find you sexy grown-ass-woman undies, because I also want a pair for myself. I haven't bought new bottoms since college, and that means I'm sitting here in a shredded Hanky Panky thong. Ugh, how pedestrian. Other highlights from my top drawer include some Dorito-sized Cosabella G-Strings and my friend Clayton's "Dirty Bathhouse Slut" briefs.

Like you though, I loathe the look and feel of having a bit of fabric between my cheeks. And we're not alone. A beautiful and well-sexed celebrity recently told me and Olivia that she won't wear thongs ever. She even showed us her whole collection of totally hot, exceedingly luxe full coverage underwear just to prove the point.

Of course some garments don't allow for full coverage without panty lines, but I've found us a nice little roster of chic full-booty bottoms for those that do.

Now, what underwear do you like? Tell me! And send your fashion questions to julie@xojane.com AND I've got a new Twitter handle @JR_Schott.