Five-Foot Fashion: Petite Winter Coats

Five coats that won’t make you look like you’ve escaped from primary school, TRANSYLVANIA, or some underground teddy-bear sex club.

Hello there, I am a tiny woman. I’ve been 5 feet (1.52 metres) tall practically since birth, but the fact that I can’t REALLY get away with regular-sized coats was only brought home to me about two years ago. I was in GAP, trying on a sharp grey single-breasted jacket. In my mind I looked like this:

In the mirror I looked like this:

So now I only buy petite.

But even in a world tailored specifically for tiny women, coat-buying can be perilously infantilising when you’re short – especially when there are so many swing coats, duffle coats, CAPES and animal-print hoods with ears on the market. So here are five coats for petite women that won’t make you look like you’ve escaped from primary school, TRANSYLVANIA, or some underground teddy-bear sex club.

Red coats can often make short women look like an unholy mix of Paddington Bear, Little Red Riding Hood and the murderous dwarf from Don’t Look Now (no, I’m not obsessed). But this coat, with its grown-up collar, warm berry colour and clean tailoring, just looks festive and chic. It’s also available in black.

Another winner from ASOS – military but clean-cut. Imagine teaming the khaki version with pale skinny jeans and an oversized cream scarf. Or the blue one with a bear-hat, a five-point revenge plan and some sort of semi-automatic pistol. Or is that just me? Oh, okay.

All right, I’ll admit that £119 is a lot to spend on a velvet coat that will turn to mush at the first snowfall, but JUST LOOK AT THE COLOUR. Boden’s entire petite range is worth checking out, too – especially if you’re partial to a nice wrap dress but don’t like necklines that plunge to your navel.

Choosing a parka when you’re short is always hard, because you can so often end up looking like you’re on a school trip. FROM A BOYS’ SCHOOL. ASOS come good again with this parka with muted colours and unfussy tailoring.

The more I look at this sleek herringbone coat, the more I love it. The fur also does up with hook-and-eye fastening, so you might not even need a scarf. If you’re a bit bosomy like me, the fur and V-neck collar might create a slightly busy décolletage, but who’s to say that’s not a good thing? Who’s to say that Kat Slater on a January night out “up West” ISN’T a good look? Huh? Who?

So there you have it! Five petite coats that you won’t feel like a right ‘nana in. So go! Shop! Because after all, winter is coming:

FINE, THAT’S THE LAST TIME I POST THIS PHOTO. JESUS.