Carol Burnett as Miss Hannigan is the Style Icon of Your Mean, Drunken Dreams

Sorry, Cameron Diaz.
Avatar:
Rachel Perkins
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
301
Sorry, Cameron Diaz.

The 1982 film version of "Annie" was a very popular film in my house growing up. My sister and I spent many an afternoon popping in that VHS and escaping into the romantic world of runaway orphans and benevolent, bald billionaires. 

Also, my sister had the most adorable head of red, curly curls, and because I convinced her she was adopted for the first few years of her life, she made a pretty convincing Annie herself. 

We were so cute, it's sickening. She's a total Annie, though, right? I was more of a Matilda. 

We were so cute, it's sickening. She's a total Annie, though, right? I was more of a Matilda. 

As I got older, I sort of forgot about "Annie" for a while. I knew I still loved it, obviously, but I forgot how truly good it is. I watched it again a few years ago, and leaping lizards -- that film holds up!

Albert Finney is a handsome and charmingly stern Daddy Warbucks. Little Aileen Quinn makes a perfectly adorable Annie. But the real stars of the film are the trio of lovable, despicable, impeccable bad guys: Rooster Hannigan, Lily St. Regis, and Miss Hannigan, played by Tim Curry, Bernadette Peters, and Carol Burnett, respectively. Could you even ask for a better combination of legendary comedic geniuses?!

Because Miss Hannigan is an excellently written role and because Carol Burnett is Carol Burnett, Miss Hannigan totally steals the entire film. Her drunken warble, her mop of curly hair, her flawless lingerie situation -- all of it is, as the kids say, on point. 

Watching the film again recently, I realized I was siding with Miss Hannigan. I know it's not terribly humanitarian of me to want the innocent orphan to lose, but Miss Hannigan is definitely the funnier and more well-dressed character. 

Let's talk about this look because this is my personal style from now on, if anyone asks. 

I MEAN. [Columbia Pictures]

I MEAN. [Columbia Pictures]

Look at that robe! I need this is in my life immediately. This film has inspired me to up my fancy loungewear game STAT. Wearing fancy, sexy lingerie just to hang around the house is such a good idea. It makes you feel good and hot, and if you get murdered, do you really wanna be murdered in sweatpants? No. Get a silk robe. (And lock your doors. People are crazy!)

This film probably did a lot for the red-hair-dye industry. [Columbia Pictures]

This film probably did a lot for the red-hair-dye industry. [Columbia Pictures]

I mean, look at this robe/kimono situation! Why aren't we all pairing silk robes with costume jewelry just to lounge around our houses and/or the shady orphanages we run? Let's fix this.

Etched into my cherished memory space forever is the image of Miss Hannigan perched on the side of her tub, pouring gin into the bathwater, wearing the most perfect silk and lace teddy you've ever seen, warbling about little girls, little girls. 

I used to feel kind of whatever towards lingerie. It took me a while to understand the point of it, because I can't sleep wearing anything and I hate spending money on things I can't show off to the world. In the past few years, though, I've learned the appeal of owning beautiful, luxurious, sexy things that exist just to make you feel happy and glamorous.

And there is NOTHING more glamorous than drinking gin alone in full makeup and sexy lingerie. Throw on a sexy teddy and some sheer, thigh-high stockings and grab your bathtub gin, ladies! It's time to complain about children!

Miss Hannigan may be a person of questionable ethics, but she's unquestionably a style icon. I mean, look at this bitch just stealing the whole damn show. I can't even remember the name of that orphan chick anymore!

"MISS HANNIGAN" starring Carol Burnett and other people and a dog. [Columbia Pictures]

"MISS HANNIGAN" starring Carol Burnett and other people and a dog. [Columbia Pictures]

I'm excited to see the new "Annie" remake this week. I've come to peace with the fact that movies must be remade even once they've already been perfected. (I mean, they're remaking "Cinderella" even though they already made the best Cinderella ever, which was obviously the made-for-TV version in which Brandy plays Cinderella. Bernadette Peters is in that too! There should be a rule that we don't remake Bernadette Peters films. She's perfect.) 

I'm glad that a new generation will be introduced to this wonderful story and all the annoyingly catchy songs that come with it. I love little Quvenzhané Wallis, and I'm sure she'll make an adorably scrappy Annie. I know the changes they made to the plot will upset some people, but we will all get through this together. I promise. 

And I'm sure Cameron Diaz will make a hilarious Miss Hannigan. People underestimate her comedic abilities, I think. She does a lot of terrible movies, but she was very funny in the "Charlie's Angels" films! So I'll give her a chance as Hannigan, though there's no way she'll ever take Carol Burnett's place in my heart. Carol's an undisputed comedic genius and one hell of a woman, and her Miss Hannigan is an icon we could all learn a thing or two from. I genuinely believe life would be a whole lot more enjoyable if I wore sexy lingerie at all times and maintained a consistent level of slight drunken stupor, don't you?

Do you love "Annie" as much as I do? (Which is, clearly, a lot.) Got any other cinematic style icons who aren't the same cinematic style icons everyone always talks about? (AKA NOT AUDREY HEPBURN SORRY.) Also, tell me about your prettiest lingerie or favorite gin.