YOU ASKED FOR IT: ONE MORE POST ABOUT VANILLA

I’m just trying to make myself happy. And that means stuff that smells VANILLA. (Or just dessert in general.) Get with the program or get outta my way.

Feb 21, 2013 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

Cat, Gala and Emily have gone on and on and on about their love of vanilla (and it’s cousin, my beloved coconut) here on xoJane to the point of complete and total saturation. So I thought to myself, “Hey, why not write one more post about vanilla?” So here you are, ANOTHER POST ABOUT VANILLA! (I'm really sorry in advance. This is like the very worst thought out thing I've ever written.)

But I honestly just cannot stop thinking and talking about Laura Mercier's dessert-scented lotion and fragrance line. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. It's brought me a sick amount of happiness recently. This post is almost typing itself, I'm so excited to try to put into words how I feel when I smell it. I WISH I COULD SHUT UP BUT I CAN'T.

Laura Mercier's whole bath and body line is all gourmet food scents (dessert scents actually), and the cornerstone is all vanilla, all the time. I have been a hardcore Laura Mercier Crème Brulee souffle body cream devotee for the last 3 years, but I accidentally ordered the Ambre Vanille scent last time. WHAT AN AMAZING MISTAKE. It's heaven on a stick. (Actually, in a pretty glass jar.)

Next time I think I'm going to "accidentally" order the body scrub and honey bath too.

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Ambre Vanille Body Scrub, $46.00/12 oz. Ambre Vanille Honey Bath, $40.00/12 oz.

Once I realized there was life beyond crème brûlée, I dove in and tried all the scents in her line. The Almond Coconut Eau De Toilette perfume spray in particular was YET ANOTHER AMAZING PURCHASE. People are constantly commenting that I smell like summertime. 

The Creme de Pistache scent features almond, praline, hazelnut and whipped cream notes. 

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Laura Mercier's Petite Patisserie Quartet in Crème de Pistache. Travel sized body wash, body creme, hand creme and eau de gourmand fragrance, 3 oz. each. $50.00. 

Laura Mercier’s bath/body/fragrance stuff is actually kind of hard to find -- Sephora only carries a handful of her products. Even on her own website, a bunch of scents are always listed as “out of stock”! This terrifies me, because if she stops making ANY of her deliciously scented bath and body products, I'm going to attach myself to an out of control hot air balloon and disappear into the ozone. 

I don’t get why it's so hard to come by, except to say that anytime I love something, it’s sure to go away. I'm a complete black widow. Now that I've gone all doom and gloom, I realize Macys.com actually has a pretty comprehensive selection of the bath & body line in stock. 

If you identify as a vanilla hound and haven't yet tried Laura Mercier's dessert scents, let me tell you that your life is totally incomplete. You simply must smell it before you die. It's bucket list status. 

Emily convinced me to buy Lavanila’s Coconut Vanilla perfume, and guess what? I hate it. It smells so cheap and gross on me. Maybe it’s because I am such a classy broad.

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Photo 999,999 of me pounding a Coors Light. Class, personified. 

Emily is coming to stay at my house this weekend, so I’m gonna give her the stupid bottle I bought before she leaves. (Yes, you read that right: BE JEALOUS.) Fragrances are so very odd -- what smells like crap on me smells amazing and fancy-pants on someone else. So if you personally love the Lavanila Coconut Vanilla, maybe don't listen to anything I'm saying here. 

My boyfriend HATES sweet smells with a passion. “What's the use in smelling something I can’t eat???!!!” he asks me. I dunno, dude. I’m just trying to make myself happy. Get with the program or get outta my way. 

You can buy a small tube of whatever Laura Mercier scent piques your interest as a sort of tester for $15.00. But you've been warned, it's a gateway drug. There's also a crème brûlée candle, GAHHHHHHH.

Someone in the comment section of Cat’s 170,000th post about vanilla said that they use real, actual vanilla extract as perfume! I put some behind my ears before work today but it wasn't so great. I think flavor and fragrance are mutually independent of each other. 

The Body Shop and it's cheap scented brethren weren't around the mall when I was in middle school, so I couldn't get on the vanilla train until I became an impressionable teenager. I wore Love's Baby Soft as a pre-teen and that was it.

But sometime in high school, I found COTTON CANDY BODY FANTASIES SPRAY. (I still keep a tiny bottle of it in my desk drawer and spray it in our fitting closet after certain actors take their smelly shoes off in there.) Trust me, it's a totally disgusting combination.

I love vanilla and dessert smells because they are just the simplest scents on earth. They don't ask a lot of you, unlike some really "complicated" fragrances. I've smelled certain perfumes that were almost 3D in their evolution, and I'm naturally blonde. I can't hang with that. It's too much work. 

It's so soothing and reassuring to smell like the birthday cake your mom made you as a 9 year old. But then, I am a person who moved to Los Angeles all by myself at age 22 with no money and no plan of what to do next. So I ate mashed potatoes and cake frosting for almost every meal to calm my anxiety. LIFE SKILLS, I HAS THEM.

I'm on Twitter: @IveyAlison.