When It Comes To My Teeth, I Don’t Care If They’re Crooked, They Just Have To Be White

I didn’t realise how much my less-than-white teeth affected my confidence until after I had them whitened and suddenly found myself grinning at people all the time – which in turn made them friendlier to me.
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Phoebe
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I didn’t realise how much my less-than-white teeth affected my confidence until after I had them whitened and suddenly found myself grinning at people all the time – which in turn made them friendlier to me.

I have this theory that no-one really cares how snaggle-toothed a celebrity is as long as their teeth aren’t – horror of horrors – less than dazzlingly white. Think of Kate Moss – her teeth are famously, beautifully imperfect and an essential part of her unique look, but I don’t think they’d be as acceptable if they were beige or yellow (she must be getting some seriously good whitening treatments after so many years as a smoker.)

Kate's famous, perfectly imperfect grin

Kate's famous, perfectly imperfect grin

I didn’t realise how much my less-than-white teeth affected my confidence until I had them whitened and suddenly found myself grinning at people all the time – which in turn made them friendlier to me. Looking back at photos from before I had the treatment, I really wish I’d done it sooner. It’s the one beauty treatment I would happily pay for again and again (getting cheapo haircuts and forgoing facials to justify the cost.)

A good ol' before and after shot

A good ol' before and after shot

My bottom teeth are pretty crooked and I miss the gap between the two top ones that I had as a child (and of course hated back then, stupid kid) but as long as they’re not yellow, I couldn’t care less.

Ignore weird fluffy hair and loooook at my teeeeth!

Ignore weird fluffy hair and loooook at my teeeeth!

Twenty years ago actors and actresses had uneven, imperfect teeth and no-one batted an eyelid. Compared to today when most celebrities’ gnashers are so bleached they almost glow blue (ahem Simon Cowell), it’s refreshing to see how unselfconscious stars were about their smiles back then. I do think it’s a great shame that we’ve lost that individuality – yet another example of the increasingly narrow definition of ‘beauty’ in contemporary culture.

What can I say – I’m a hypocrite. I’ll lament the fact that modern standards of beauty force those in the public eye to conform in all these ways – including having a dazzling smile – but you can be damn sure I’ll be stocking up on Crest 3D Whitestrips when I’m in the US next week!

Can't get enough of these beauties

Can't get enough of these beauties

So tell me, am I completely mad or do you have a particular feature that matters more to you than any other which you’re prepared to invest in? Your hair? Your skin? Tell me I’m not alone!