Marry, Date, Friends With Benefits: Teeth Whitening Edition

The teeth whitening finds I want to marry, and the ones I'd only fool around with.

When a random stranger says, "Smile, it's not so bad," would you rather… spit on them through your super white teeth OR tell them to f--- off through your super white teeth?

I know, right? I couldn't decide either.

One thing I do know is that I enjoy having a bright white smile. And I don’t flash that smile to just anyone, unless I'm in some multi-universe where all the streets are filled with smiling Ryan Gosling clones.

Only smile if you want to smile, but you babes know that already. You all see what I’m saying here. I whitened my teeth, just like I told you I was going to do.

Here's what my teeth-whitening mission entailed:

I swished every morning with 3% hydrogen peroxide

I brushed my teeth with my newly purchased Sonicare Essence Original toothbrush

I used the Rembrandt 2-Hour Whitening Kit twice, every other week

I spoke with my dentist friend, Dr. Alex Veach, to get his professional opinion about the whole regimen. In the end, I love how my teeth are looking. I will continue with some of the products and practices and pull back on my use with others.

So, now let’s play the product version of Marry, Date, Friends With Benefits.

MMMAAARRRYYYYYY! Sonicare Toothbrush

Me: I want to this to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. True love, indeed. This has been a great addition to my oral hygiene routine. The Sonicare Essence Original toothbrush has a two-minute timer on it when you activate the bristles. I have been brushing longer and even going past the two-minute timer mark to brush more. I’m going to be honest, when I first started using the brush the feeling of the activated bristles was too ticklish and strong. But that feeling quickly subsided after the first couple brushings, and now it’s completely gone. The Sonicare is in my routine forever more.

Dr. Alex Veach: “It is wonderful around the gum line and prevents you from brushing too hard with sensors that warn you. That being said, Oral-B's do a nice job as well--[I've] just never felt as clean as after the Sonicare. As far as toothbrushes go, you want to make sure that the bristles are medium to soft. Medium to hard or hard bristles can be as damaging as not brushing at all.“


DATE! Hydrogen Peroxide

Me: This was super easy to incorporate into my morning routine. Floss, swish hydrogen peroxide a couple of times, spit it out, and brush my teeth with my Sonicare. Easy. The way the peroxide foamed made it seem like it was doing some real work to break down stains. However, I will not be doing this every day. I'll probably do it two or three times a week.

Dr. Alex Veach: “Hydrogen Peroxide at 3% may slowly bleach your teeth over time. However, at the lower concentration and drastically lower duration on your teeth, it will not be nearly as effective. This is not a recommendation for increasing the duration on your teeth. Swishing for any more than 20 seconds on your teeth can change the microbial flora of the soft tissues and give you a thrush [fungal] infection.”

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS: Rembrandt 2-Hour Teeth Whitening Kit

Me: I used the kit twice during this one month regimen. Both times I had sensitivity pangs through my teeth during the whitening process, but after each kit session my teeth did seem more polished and bright. I may use this a couple of times a year, but not a couple times a month.

Dr. Alex Veach: Silence. [Sidebar: Dr. A didn’t really have anything to say on Rembrandt, but he did offer the following information.]

Dr. Alex Veach: “When approached in the office by a patient to do whitening, I first make sure they have no areas of active decay. Next, I usually recommend Crest 3D Whitestrips. They are usually around 14% hydrogen peroxide, but they are wonderful for adhering to a specific location. I encourage them to use a Pronamel toothpaste while they are in the process of bleaching. Finally, if after bleaching their teeth the patient is still unhappy, I usually recommend in-office bleaching. At our office we use a Zoom light and 37.5% hydrogen peroxide. There is a noticeable sensitivity following the procedure that usually decreases by the next day and is non-existent on the third day.”

Final thoughts: my Sonicare and I will be creating a wedding registry, because we’re happily settled in together and completely in love. (RE: I need new plates.) And to those weird dudes who give their unsolicited opinions on smiles, you have zero chance of anything.

So, babes, what's your whitening regimen? Show me your teeth!