It's gonna get sappy up in here.
I have the flu and it’s really not cute. I went to the doctor and he didn’t technically prescribe me anything, but he did tell me to take a lot of painkillers, cold medicine, and cough suppressants on top of that. I didn’t know I could take that many painkillers and still, like, be alive, but here I am.
Anyway, I’m tripping balls on pain meds and thinking about tattooing my brows on. I figure, why not talk to you guys about it? I'm betting that some of you might
A. Also have the flu,B. have your brows tattooed on and able to give me some expertise on the subject, or C. might also be debatably high.
Would you permanently change anything about your face? I’m not sure I would. I’m all for cosmetic procedures — I’m all for everything! — but I don’t think I’d ever go the cosmetic surgery route, solely because the healing process gives me anxiety. That’s just one of my weird, personal hang ups, though. And, there are a ton of things you can do to permanently alter your face without ever having to slice it open or shave down a bone. Those procedures freak me the fuck out, too, to a slightly lesser extent.
Another question: What parts of your beauty routine do you do every day without exception? What I hit my face with changes daily, depending on, well, everything. But the one thing I’ll do no matter what is fill in my brows.
My eyebrows are pretty sparse, especially for a guy. I only say “for a guy” because we all know that the best, natural beauty features are wasted on men who don’t care about them (i.e. lashes and brows).
A good, strong brow is such a beautiful feature. It's also a feature that I do not have. Here are my brows untouched, which I don't let you see often.
See how they're kind of wonky? They're pretty sparse, and seem to grow inward from each direction?
Luckily, a good brow is an easy feature to fake, probably one of the easiest. It’s not like I have to draw on a cheekbone or reshape my nose every morning. But still, it’s something I’m doing every single day.
Last fall, I got to thinking, what if I just got these tattooed on so I could stop worrying about them?
I went back and forth about it, I looked at places in my area and the surrounding larger cities, I talked to people that had theirs tatted on, and it’s something I might do. I guess I’m still going back and forth. Maybe it's the liquid codeine talking, I don't know.
There are a lot of things to consider: How much time am I really going to be saving? Filling in my brows takes me just seconds and it’s not like I hate doing it. Actually, I kind of like doing it. It’s part of the fun, ritualistic side of beauty. And how would I be able to tell you guys about my favorite new brow products if mine were always done and permanently perfect? It seems like a weird thing to miss, but I think I think I’d miss it.
I asked xoVain's Sable about her experience getting her brows tattooed on (or "microbladed" as they're calling it now) and here's what she had to say:
The biggest pain was that I couldn’t get them wet for two weeks. Which made showering and face-washing very complicated. I’m sure I probably got them a little damp in those two weeks, but how do they expect a person to just not wash their eye area ever? The tatted lines would flake off within the first month and leave fainter lines but overall it looked really “natural” and subtle. I got them touched up three months after and then haven’t done anything to them since, and they’ve faded bit but they’re still holding fast (it’s supposed to last up to 2 years, they say).
I get that tattoos fade, but two years? That seems...I don't know. It could be a pro or a con, depending, you know?
Oh, speaking of filling in my brows, ColourPop’s new brow products just showed up and I’m so, so excited. ColourPop has slowly been expanding their line into their very own beauty empire and I am totally on board with every new product they give us.
Surprisingly (even to myself), I’ve always been a brow pencil type of guy. They’re the easiest for me to to build my brow shape and intensity up with to exactly where I want them without overdoing it too quickly.
Plus, I’m always afraid that I’m gonna wipe my brow off halfway through the night if I do it with a pomade or cream color. I know that shouldn’t happen if I’ve set my makeup correctly, which I do religiously, but if that were to happen to anybody, it would happen to me.
PLUS, cream colors always tend to make brows look perfect, which is great, but that's not really *me.* For one, the outer edges of my brows are kind of all over the place, so drawing on a perfect, pointy tail is kind of a dead giveaway. I like my brows to be filled in and thicker but not completely even and crisp, because that's not what they look like in real life. My brows are the same size, but completely different shapes, just like my testicles.
But duh, I tried them both because that’s what I do.
Of all the brow pencils I’ve tried, and I’ve tried a lot of them, MAC’s retractable brow pencil is my favorite. I hate comparing products, but ColourPop’s is very similar to MAC’s, with a few key, standout differences.
For starters, the pencil itself looks almost identical. I was SO happy to see this product was retractable, rather than having to sharpen it, as I’m sure they could have easily used the same housing as their lip liners. Praise God.
Second, where the design of the barrel pulls ahead of the MAC pencil is on the opposite end, where it has a spoolie! A definite plus.
But what’s important is the product itself. The brow pencil is super smooth and very pigmented. It lays down a lot of color with very little applied pressure. Some pencils make it hard to achieve actual drama when the product is too dense, but this is not one of them. On the other hand, it’s not so unruly that you’re going to be serving #BBHMM brows when you were just going for Music of the Sun brows.
This is another product that’s a departure from what ColourPop has already created and I really, really wanted it to be great. And it is.
The second brow product ColourPop gives us is Brow Colour, which is half cream gel, half brow pomade, all impact.
As I said, I don’t often reach for a brow pomade, but I tried these out anyway because I know a lot of you do. My shade is Black N’ Brown, which is a rich chocolate brown, still a lot more brown than it is black.
I dip a stiff, flat angled brush into the pot and then lay that product down onto the top of my hand, dipping back into that when I need more. I know that doesn’t sound like I’m working with a lot of product, but believe me when I say that’s all you need. If I go from pot to brow, it gets too dark, too fast.
I start from the middle of my brow to get an even wash of color, and then work to the inner corner so the brush will have laid down a significant amount of the product already, to avoid any harsh lines where my brows are the most sparse.
Brow Colour is great to work with because it’s super creamy, allowing you to create whatever shape you want.
BAM. Impact. Maybe a little too much for me personally, but I think a lot of you will like it.
SO TELL ME — Do you have any permanent makeup? Tell me all about it in the comments because I'm so creepily curious. Should I get my brows tatted on?
Tynan is abusing painkillers on Twitter @TynanBuck