It's gonna get sappy up in here.
Spring is near! Which means summer is also near!
In anticipation of steamy NYC heat waves and dressing half-naked, I’ve been utilizing my gym membership. Gyms aren’t terrible -- you can watch basketball highlights on the elliptical TV and buy water bottles for one dollar -- but they aren’t great either.
Last week a guy who may or may not have been panting through kegels made it impossible for me to concentrate on squats. I was too busy suffocating in a humid cloud of his B.O. Stinky Kegel Man is only one of the reasons why I prefer fitness classes. Scheduled classes motivate me to leave the house, and also guarantee that I’ll work out longer than 30 minutes.
The name ReXist360 comes from the resistance bands wrapped around our thighs during class (duh!), while sweating through a mix of strength training and cardio. A single tear fell from my eye at the idea of increasing my heart rate -- I typically avoid cardio exercise the same way I avoid tetanus or the swine flu. I like Pilates because most of it is spent lying down, and my favorite part of yoga is the sleeping for five minutes part.
A lot of the movements in this ReXist360 class were similar to Pilates actually, others similar to what I would imagine Barry’s Boot Camp to be. Thankfully, my instructor gave multiple opportunities to cool down with low-intensity exercises before I died on the floor, because a sloth-human hybrid can only take so much.
For some reason I really like when attractive fitness instructors use those headset microphones and yell motivational affirmations at me, so I didn’t want to leave after my third jumping jack. Progress! This is a huge milestone for me.
If you’re wondering if I had fun, I did (this is probably the only cardio class I would even consider taking again), but still felt the kind of sore you only appreciate after like, a week.
Post-workout, I was fairly certain that I had fulfilled any and all fitness expectations for the rest of my life. I obviously needed to regain my composure before entering the gates of heaven, so I made the shaky journey to the bathroom.
While I'd been silently crying through a plank, I felt sweat drip through my scalp and down the back of my neck, so it was no surprise that my roots were completely drenched. RIP freshly washed hair. I looked around the Movement bathroom in search of scissors to either cut all of my hair off or end my life, but found a can of Dove dry shampoo instead.
We’ve already discussed the fact that I don’t really fuck with dry shampoo unless I’m spraying my roots before a workout (which I forgot to do this time, bleh). Even then, my hair just feels too loaded with product.
I’ve never even considered using Dove products for anything other than soap or deodorant (which, for the record, I love). I assumed they sucked, because I usually hate drugstore hair products. Well, how freaking wrong was I… Each spritz of this dry shampoo was so cooling and refreshing, and the product felt like it disappeared as soon as it touched my hair. I was all, *Poof* Oooh… *Pfft* YAAASSS!!!!
I didn’t brush out the dry shampoo, but instead tied my hair into a low ponytail and let it absorb my sebum (ew, sorry) on the walk home. When I finally returned to my bedroom and shook out my ponytail, I was greeted with the most pleasant powder-fresh smell, and hair that felt like it had just been freshly washed… with water.
Holy crap! Why aren’t more people freaking out about this stuff? Why haven’t I seen Dove dry shampoo in the bathroom of every single workout facility? My scalp is actually clean again. BUT, there is a but.
Even though my hair felt clean, the bouncy wave was completely gone, and I was left with a weird lifeless bend:
To restore body without heat, I put in some pin curls before bed. My friend Jaznea taught me how to pin curl my hair, but this YouTube video will also show you what I’m talking about.
A satin du-rag left my pin curls undisturbed, so I woke up like this:
Brush, brush, shake shake, and my bouncy bob was restored! MAGIC!
Weee I’m so relieved! My head doesn’t stink and I look clean again! I also know exactly how to proceed after my next sweaty workout.
Oh, and before I forget, I need to yell at you guys. Why didn’t anyone tell me Dove makes such great dry shampoo?! I’m sure at least one of you has tried it before.
Follow Courtney on Twitter and Instagram @courtneypizza