I basically called my mom for help. Except when I say mom, I mean an esthetician.
In my experience, the bittersweetness of goodbyes typically leans more bitter than sweet. I've been known to "ghost" out of social situations because I don't like official departures. It feels unnatural and icky and sad and weird and other adjectives that definitely don't equate to sweetness.
Recently, however, I actually wanted to give someone a proper toodle-oo, and it turned out to be quite sweet, quite literally.
A really lovely coworker from the more buttoned-up side of this company was moving on, and people were practically lining up to hug her goodbye because she is one of the most likable people on earth and her blood should be a vitamin we all have to take (oh my god, that came out horribly wrong).
When it was my turn for a hug, I got not only a good squinch, but a waft of a mindblowingly sultry fragrance.
"I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what perfume you're wearing," I said, looking up and pretending I could actually stop this Amazonian goddess from escaping if she really wanted to. Thankfully, she was more than happy to tell me.
"Malin + Goetz Dark Rum, girl."
"Malin + Goetz Dark Rum Girl?"
"No, girl, Malin + Goetz Dark Rum."
As soon as she was out of sight, I emailed Matthew Malin and Andrew Goetz themselves to tell them that I need Dark Rum in my life and to thank them in advance for all of the future sexy times I will be having because of it.
Here's what makes it so freakin' seductive: "Top notes of bergamot and plum, middle notes of rum and leather, dry down of amber, patchouli, and milk."
Y'all, milk and prunes are erotic.
The warm, long-wearing eau de toilette is unisex, I think because no one can resist its lure. I'm almost scared to wear it, for fear that men will just start pelting me with balls of paper that have their numbers scribbled on them.
While I muster up the courage to start wearing it, if I manage to bring someone back to my apartment without having hypnotized him with this magic scent, I'll be using the Dark Rum Candle to set the mood. The sexy, sexy mood of sexiness.
I guess I'm going to have to get used to people wanting to hug me goodbye. And hello. And just because.