OH SNAP I'm Late For A Meeting! And I Don't Want To Give This Stuff Away

Plus: tips on how to be a responsible employee.
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Publish date:
September 5, 2013
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Tags:
fashion, vintage, top coats, Seche Vite, eyelash primers, selfies, mascara, moschino, shift dresses

I'm sitting here in this room after being super-late for the meeting I was supposed to have at 10 this morning. We rescheduled after I sent one of those my-life-has-been-INSANE-in-the-past-couple-of-hours-I'm-so-sorryit'llneverhappenagain emails on the way to the office. We're supposed to meet at 10:30 now, and it's 10:27, so I'm actually now early for our meeting, which I think brings us to the real takeaway here: the fact that I'm hella responsible.

I mean, would an irresponsible employee show up to work wearing pencil dresses in wool/silk blends?

Every office chick really needs to own one of these dresses. Stop with this "separates" BS; I have 99 problems and they're all skirts that need to be worn with heels that I can never match to a top. Nope, when you were supposed to be at work five minutes ago, you'll be glad to have a perfectly fitted (if a little too tight, shoutout to my fellow skanks, wassup?!) shift dress that's made really well so that when you're climbing two stairs instead of one running to catch a train, the back slit don't split open four more inches.

Above are my "Sorry, kid" sunglasses. You need these so that you don't have to look directly into the welling eyes of the nine-year-old tourist that you just trampled at the Union Square station. His first time in New York just became his last, as he'll never want to return to the city where he lost his pinkie toe to the blunt force trauma of a Wang(ish) heel. Sorry, kid.

So I'm here now, 10:30 on the dot, ready to do meeting stuff.

No reason why I can't multitask, though, let's give away one of my most beloved nail products of all time: a bottle of Seche Vite top coat. I'd totally keep this for myself if I didn't like you guys so much. Plus I have an almost-full bottle at home. Remember to be residing inside of the U.S. and be over 18, and then show me your late (or not) work outfit in the comments.

Also, congrats to Unreg! She was chosen at random by a robot to win the Completely Bare Bikini & Body Wax Kit! And I'm pretty sure she is Laura Dern. Be honest, are you Laura Dern? You looked SO HOT in Wild At Heart, which is, like, one my most favorite movies of all time. I seriously went out and got a bodycon dress, snakeskin jacket, and a boyfriend that my mother hated immediately after seeing it for the first time. And don't even GET ME STARTED on Jurassic Park.

Now get to seflie-ing!