Salon quality nails without the salon quality small talk!
If someone asked you what you could
usually be found doing on a random day at home, what would you say?
Binge-watching House of Cards on
Netflix? Cooking and doing chores? (I’m sure some people do that.) Spending
time with your family? If so, I’m happy for you--those all sound great.
you came over to my house on any random day of the week, you would most likely
find me in the middle of an epic battle against an army of ladybugs.
This usually happens every spring
at my house, but for some reason, this year, it’s been going on all winter. As
soon as the sun comes up, they swarm around the windows of my bedroom and the
kitchen below it. Apparently, the man who lived here before us cultivated a
ladybug farm of some sort, and for that I hate him with a burning passion.
A lot of you may be
wondering, But why? Ladybugs are so cute! OK, no. Just stop. Ladybugs are
the devil. Yes, they have a cute name. Yes, they look cute with their little
polka dots. Yes, they’re good for nature or whatever, I guess. I DON’T CARE. I
hate them. I hate the way they smell (it’s very pungent, especially if you
freak them out for some reason), I hate the way they scare the crap out of me
by randomly buzzing loudly past my ear, I hate the way they occasionally fall
into my bedside glass of water and then end up in my mouth. Yes, that happened.
You don’t want to know what a ladybug tastes like. It’s worse than the smell.
Still, I’m trying to make peace
with these dumb insects, mostly because everyone makes me feel really guilty
whenever I break out the vacuum cleaner to suck them up. Sorry, I’m a monster.
The past few days, it’s gotten warm enough to open my window a bit and shoo them
outside where they belong. There’s been a lot less of them lately, too, for some
reason. Maybe they finally noticed my systematic massacre of their buddies and
wised up. Whatever the reason, I can appreciate them a lot more when there’s
only one or two crawling around.
That’s when I had the idea to do
ladybug-inspired nails, as a way of showing them that I’m looking forward to
spring as much as they are (and possibly also as a way of camouflaging my hands
when I’m trying to trap them).
Now that that long-winded
introduction is over, here’s how you can get some cute ladybug nails. I’ve seen
ladybug nail art before, and it’s usually way too childish for my taste, with
little eyes and antennae drawn on, and every nail in the same bright red shade.
News flash: ladybugs come in a variety of colors, from brown to reddish orange.
To get as close as possible, I decided to use three different red and orange
shades as base coats and then tone them down into earthier colors with a brown
nail polish. Pick one red or orange color for each nail, and don’t worry about
doing them in a certain order. The random-er, the better. I used Wet ‘n’ Wild
Megalast Salon Nail Color in Club Havana, Spoiled by Wet ‘n’ Wild Nail Color in
Everyone’s A-tomic, and New York Color Long Wearing Nail Enamel in Red Velvet
Rope. Red Velvet Rope was the only one that didn’t need two coats.
Next, it’s time to add some earth
tones. Simply painting some brown nail polish on top won’t work because it
probably won’t be sheer enough. At this point, we have to do some mixing.
each nail, I plopped a dollop of brown polish on a scrap of paper--I used
Spoiled by Wet ‘n’ Wild Nail Color in Pumping Gas, which is the least appealing
nail polish name ever.
Then, using the brush from the
previous red or orange shade that I used for that particular nail, I mixed the
two shades together on the paper before painting it onto the nail. This gave me
just the right amount of brown on top of each color to tone down the original
After that I added a top coat, New
York Color In a New York Minute Quick Dry Nail Polish. Then I broke out my
black Sally Hansen I Heart Nail Art Pen and (shaking it constantly as I went)
carefully made little black dots on each nail. I tried to be somewhat
symmetrical with the dots on each side of the nail because I feel like it looks
better. I don’t care enough about ladybugs to look closely enough to see if
their dots actually are symmetrical.
You could stop at this point if you
want, but I felt like it was missing something. At this point I just had
polka-dotted nails in weird colors. Like I said, I didn’t want to go full
ladybug cartoon on my nails, so I decided to stay as minimal as possible and
simply draw a thin black line down the center of each nail to represent the
divide between their wings.
Finally you’ll probably want to add another clear
top coat. Just make sure the black polish is 100% dry first to prevent smearing
To really get all method with this
manicure, you could add a little dousing of an earthy scent such as Demeter’s
Firefly cologne. I don’t think they have a ladybug scent, but trust me, this
one will do. It’s a very earthy, pungent smell, just like these dumb ladybugs.
Now, you guys won’t believe this
but when I was taking pictures of the final look, THE CRAZIEST THING HAPPENED.
A bunch of ladybugs just flew over and started hanging out with my ladybug
It was truly beautiful. We had
finally reached an understanding and achieved peace. My heart swelled as one
little guy clambered over my fingers.
OK, I might be exaggerating some
of this. The truth is I forced them to pose for these pictures, they hated it,
and then one ladybug pooped on my hand so I flushed him down the toilet in
retaliation. THE WAR RAGES ON.