Since I'm a visual person I hardly ever remember the album title but I just remember what the album art looks like.
Being that I’m half Puerto Rican, there’s this devastating (and racist) expectation that I should have a fat ass and big tits. Or at least one of the two. I have neither.
It is a seriously sensitive subject. I’m not down for body shaming, so I’ll spare you all the self-deprecating details of just how underwhelming my girly parts are, but they’re small. Or modest. I prefer modest.
Yet somehow, in a weird twist of fate, all the magic that I wish would’ve been dispersed evenly across my body is concentrated in my eyebrows. I have kick-ass eyebrows. So, it is my belief that the sex appeal that I lack with my boyish figure, I make up for with my perfect arches. The same way a round, juicy ass can turn heads, so do my brows. They’re so bold that you can’t help but notice them.
Here’s the thing, though. I’m half-faking it. I’ve been filling them in for so long that I forget they’re technically not natural, and then go on rants about how my drawn-on brows rival the appeal of a juicy ass. I’m not completely delusional, though, stay with me.
What I probably should have said was, my naturally thick (yet uneven) brows, coupled with my expert ability at filling them in with a pencil and powder, make for some really pretty eyebrows that will keep your attention on my face and distract you from looking at my pancake butt. There, that’s better.
The magic recipe: both a pencil and powder. Pencil + powder = perfect brows and free drinks.
I swear by Anastasia’s Brow Wiz pencil, and I use it to fill in any gaps I have, but JUST THE GAPS! I don’t like to use a pencil on my whole brow because, no matter what, pencils are waxy and when used over a large area, go on streaky.
Think of a crayon: Do you ever get a totally uniform color? Unless you’re using a bionic hand that maintains perfectly uniform pressure, you’re gonna get some chunkier darker areas. Or you’ll have to go back in with a spoolie brush and buff out any harshness. To me, that’s like trying to knit a scarf and then unraveling every row you finish.
Anyway, after I use the pencil, I take a small angled brush and Anastasia's Brow Powder Duo to then create the overall shape.
Some people will tell you that any old angled brush will do. That’s a lie. The brush should be natural hair (in my opinion, it applies product better), stiff, and dense. I use the MAC 208. A flimsy, synthetic, $1 brush is not going to take you where you want to go.
Also, I don’t care if your hair is jet black--you should never go any darker than a medium ash brown. I haven’t meditated on this topic enough to tell you why this is. It’s a great mystery. But just trust: Any darker than a cool toned medium brown, and you’re going to look like Gargamel.
I create the overall shape by dipping my brush into the darker of the two shades. (My hair is black, so I use the darker shade of the two that come in the duo, but the lighter your hair, the more you’ll want to play with the lighter shade.)
I start by drawing a line on the bottom edge of my brow, and then turn the brush vertically, and “push” the product upward.
I then draw another line on the top edge of my brow. Careful not to draw above or below your actual brow, that will look really unnatural. Remember, we’re trying to trick people here.
Once I have a glorious rectangle going (see how without the tail end they just look like rectangles?), I finish that bad boy off and fill in the ends. IMPORTANT: When filling in the tail, pay attention to the area where the top of your brow starts to arch. Usually, when I think of an eyebrow arch, I think of it as being on the inside/underneath? part of my eyebrow, but the arch is also created at the top edge, and that’s a problem area for most people. Make sure to create that outer arch.
Also, you can go a little darker on the tail. Ideally, the tail is the darkest part and the inner part of the brow is slightly lighter.
Then if you really wanna get fancy, take a flat angled brush. Feel free to be cheap here. I got mine at the art supply store for $3 (thanks, Annie). Dip it in a tiny bit of creamy concealer, and then draw a line directly under your brows and blend it out.
This will make them look super clean. An ice cream paint job, if you will.
And after that, you’re done! If this sounds like a lot of work, it’s because to most sane people it probably is.
Let me know if you try my technique!