Since I'm a visual person I hardly ever remember the album title but I just remember what the album art looks like.
When I was in middle school, I read in some magazine about every celebrity using NARS Blush in Orgasm to get their "red carpet glow." I needed a 6th grade hallway glow, and I was having zero luck in the pubescent boy department, so I thought this would solve my probs.
Because my parents made me afraid of anything sexual, I couldn’t just flat-out ask my mom for it. Instead, I ran the magazine downstairs and pointed to it, saying, "Will you buy me this? It will make me so pretty."
She told me that if I could say the name of the blush out loud, then she would buy it for me. I ran upstairs crying.
A few years later, my dad took me back-to-school shopping, and we went to Sephora while at the mall. I threw some stuff in a basket and just walked it up to the register and made him pay for all of it (I know how that sounds, guys). He didn’t look at the contents of the basket because why would he? And little did he know, the sneakiest kid ever snuck some Orgasm into the basket. Muahaha--I have little devils on both shoulders.
Before I got home, I ripped the label off of the blush so my mom wouldn’t find out, and I’ve been glowing ever since!
It didn’t really hit me why they called it Orgasm until, you know, I actually had one. Then I was like, “Ohhh, this has been making me look like I just had sex? That’s why no boys ever wanted to date me. They were intimidated by all the sex they thought I was having!"
So woohoo! We can get a post-sex glow without actually having sex. Or can we?
This week, I decided to find out how close the cult-favorite Orgasm blush color comes to the actual color of my cheeks after a real orgasm. If only I had thought of this a few years ago, I could have had a winning science fair project.
I called upon my trusty boyfriend, which wasn’t difficult since we live together, and tested this out for you guys.
I wore the NARS blush to work, and the only other makeup I had on my face was BB cream, eyeliner and mascara.
The blush is really shimmery and peachy. I guess a vague way to describe it would be "pretty."
The next day, the only makeup I wore to work was BB cream, eyeliner and mascara. I kept it the same because I learned about "controls" one time in science, and I think that’s what I was trying to do.
I went to the gym after work, so my face was red after that, but my skin tone was back to normal by the time I got home and had sex, during which I had an orgasm. (BOYFRIEND NOTE: It was more like 10 orgasms; maybe 20.) Then I pushed the BF off of me and screamed the most romantic words ever: “Quick! Take my picture for my article!”
The actual orgasm glow on me is much more all-over rosy. My cheeks were not shimmery at all, and they were a lot redder than when I was wearing the blush. I wouldn’t describe this color as "pretty"--just "worn out."
I don’t think I look dewy. In fact, if I was going to dinner after a sex romp, I would probably wait for my skin to go back to its normal color, and then apply the NARS blush.
Here’s a side-by-side comparison of the two. The post-sex photo is on the left, and the blush is on the right. (Pretty sure you could have figured that one out yourself.)
There’s more of a glam factor with the Orgasm that comes out of a compact than a real orgasm. In my opinion, I look more "red carpet ready" or whatever after putting on the blush than I do after sex.
I hate how red and splotchy my face is after exercising, and that’s kind of how it looks after sex. After all, they're quite similar activities--you’re moving around a lot and breathing hard. None of that slow Titanic steam car stuff.
However, if someone told me I had to choose between raw sex orgasms and the NARS product, I would definitely pick actual sex because who wouldn’t? (But I would have to mull it over for a while; the blush really is that perfect.)
Also, just in case you were wondering, here’s my O face.