Since I'm a visual person I hardly ever remember the album title but I just remember what the album art looks like.
I don’t have any
tattoos, mostly because they’re expensive. I don’t mind fronting cash on the
regular for vintage leather boots or plane tickets or retirement, but I can’t
bring myself to spend money on a tattoo.
absolutely cannot have a tattoo that someone else has. Roll your eyes if you
want, but I’m rolling my eyes way harder at every damn triangle, arrow and Kurt
Vonnegut quote I see etched into the pasty forearms handing me my latte. (No
offense to the baristas of the world. Y’all rule.)
That just ain’t
me, babe. If that's you, we can still hang. We can catch an Arcade Fire show
together or something.
So, no tattoos
here. I feel like I should take more advantage of how not afraid I am of
needles, but maybe I’ll just start going to doctors again. My grandma got a
sweet tattoo of a dolphin when she turned, like, 70. Big ups to my grandma. I’ll
probably follow her path.
While I don’t
have any actual tattoos, I do have--are y’all ready for this segue?--Maybelline Color Tattoos! *bows* *spontaneously combusts*
I’m talking about Maybelline Color Tattoo Pure Pigments. They come in so many
colors (12) in loose-powder form, and as you might have inferred from their
name, woo boy, they are highly pigmented!
not permanent, like a tattoo, but they do have serious staying power. And at $7
each at the drugstore, I can manage to dish out for lots of these.
So, I think
these might be a little intimidating, which is why I am here to take you by the
hand and walk you through this scenic field of highly pigmented eyeshadow. I
brought a picnic! I hope you like red wine and corndogs.
I have six of
the Pure Pigment shades. I’d buy them all if I could, but I have a really
strict makeup budget, so I only buy things I know I will use a lot. That is why
I only own the brightest, craziest ones.
There are a lot
of ways to use these colors, and each way you apply them results in almost an
entirely different product. When applied dry with a brush, they are a bit
muted. They don’t seem muted until you’ve applied them with a wet brush and the
color really pops.
Color Tattoo is
great for experimenting with really bold and out-there looks, as well as
simple, everyday looks. But does anything sound more boring than “simple,
everyday”? I’m not going to show you how to do that. Let’s get crazy.
So I started
this look by referring to it as “sunset” something, but in the end I think I
was subconsciously inspired by HotWheels because I’ve been making a lot of
HotWheels-themed jokes lately. I’m a blast in real life, trust me.
First apply your
eye primer or cream shadow of choice. These pigments work much better with a
I started by
wetting a small tapered eyeshadow brush with water and dipping it into the Wild Gold shade. I like to tip the shadow out into the lid in small amounts
and work from there. I applied this bright yellow shade all over my lid.
It’s smart to
apply this slowly and more like you’re stippling than swiping for maximum
color. I also hold a tissue under my eyes to catch any loose pigment that may
fall upon my cheeks.
I then washed
that brush and used the same one, wet again, to push some of the Breaking
Bronze (lol) into the outer corners of my eyelids. I winged it out gently and
let it softly taper out at the ends.
I then smudged a
bit of white eyeliner into my lower lash line.
I paired this
look with bold brows and dark crimson lips. And a scowl.
The eye look,
paired with a bold or neutral lip, could be a pretty daytime or nighttime look.
These colors go on well and they blend beautifully.
This look is bold but simple. Sometimes I need a look that will give me maximum
attention for minimum effort.
So I took a
small angled brush and wet it and then dipped it in Never Fade Jade, a gorgeous color that IMO is more teal than jade,
but I love teal so it’s OK.
I drew a thick
line with the brush across my lower lash line, and winged it up gently at the
outer corners of my eyes.
Pair this look with mascara and Chapstick to keep it
from getting clowny. Unless clowning is your thing, in which case, do not speak
to me ever.
The swipe of
color under the eyes makes them look bigger than lining the entire eye would.
Line your waterline with white liner for some extra pop.
Y’all like to
get weird, right?
I really love the look of colored eyebrows. It’s very
editorial, don’t you think? However, I have sensitive pansy skin so I’ve never
tried the glue stick thing. Also, I have been having actual anxiety dreams about
my eyebrows falling off, so that’s how my psyche and I are doing, thanks for
I quite like the
shape and size of my brows, so I don’t want to cover them and redo them. I grabbed
the small angled brush I usually use to fill in my brows, and cleaned the dark brown
off, and dipped it in Never Fade Jade. I used the powder DRY this time,
instead of wet, because I didn’t want to get too dramatic right away.
Use small, short
strokes to fill in the inner halves of both of your brows. I carried the shadow
a bit outside my natural brows, for a bolder look. I like the way it fades out.
I then used my fingers to gently smudge the blue into the outer halves of my
brows. I guess it’s, like, ombre brows?
I used a wet,
angled brush to create a cat eye with the Black Mystery pigment, which has
all these wild flecks of blue and purple in it.
I paired this
look with a nude lip and dirty hair. Wear it on a first date or a job
are great because they are so versatile. You can use them in so many ways. They
are truly the potatoes of the makeup world.
Purple (cosmetic product names slay me) pigment is an awesome rich and deep
purple. I’ve always loved purple since I read as a kid that it was considered
the color of royalty. Also, I was raised on a steady diet of women’s beauty
magazines telling me purple was THE color for brown eyes.
But who cares
about eyes? Eyes might be the window to the soul, but my mouth is the door to
my heart because food. And lipstick!
So take that delicious purple shade (or the shade of your choice) and scoop a
bit out and mix it with another little scoop of Chapstick. I
mixed them around in a plastic cup and messed with the proportions until I got
the consistency I was looking for.
Use a brush to
pat your new lip color on to your lips. I then used a fluffy shadow brush to
dust a bit more powder on my lips to keep the color on.
lips, what else? Oh, right, cheeks. How could I even think about leaving
the house without a fresh flush about me?
Use a big,
fluffy brush to dust some Pink Rebel onto the apples of your cheeks. This
color is great, and I raved about it in my pink wig article already, and I’ll
rave about it again. It’s pretty and shimmery with almost silver undertones.
OK, let’s go
back to black. I mean, back to eyes. I mean, both.
Take that cool little pot of Black Mystery and a shadow brush, and cover your lids all the way up to your
brows with it. Don’t stress too much about getting it totally even--just get it
everywhere. Let it fade out beyond your brow line if you’d like.
Then, take a
fluffier shadow brush and dust on the Breaking Bronze overtop the black. You
don’t want to totally cover the black. Just apply a sheer blanket of gold
It’s sort of
like your eyes are an old gilded frame. It’s dramatic but pretty, and the
flecks of gold really bring out your eyes.
This look is fancy and dramatic as well. I think you could wear it to a
sexy holiday party. Is that a thing? I don’t go “out.”
Wet your brush
and draw a line of Breaking Bronze across your upper lash line.
Then clean the
brush, wet it again, and draw a black line with Black Mystery over the top of
the gold line. Wing the black line out, so the wing is above where a typical
cat eye would rest.
I paired this
look with Revlon Colorburst Lipgloss in Bordeaux, and an updo.
OK, this was a
look born of just sort of messing around and being, maybe, still a little drunk
after a weekend in New Orleans (which is also how most babies are made, I
think), but it was mega-fun.
I started by
painting the Potent Purple across my lids and then blending some Never Fade
Jade into the outsides.
And then, I got
crazy and did a bad job documenting it, but I think this look speaks for
itself. Basically, I wanted to create a look using EVERY pigment I have. So,
I threw on some
false lashes and shiny pink lip gloss and chased my cat around the house.
Do you really
need an occasion to wear a look like this? Just live your life. Dance like
nobody’s watching, sing like nobody’s listening, apply your makeup like nobody
Should I write
about the cream Color Tattoos? Because--guess what--I LOVE THOSE, TOO. Should I
get a real tattoo? (I’m never gonna.) Do you love these Pure Pigments as much
as I do? How do you wear them? Which colors do you have?