Look To Try This Weekend: Barbie's Slutty Friend

Purple eyeshadow, peachy blush and *duh* frosted lips for cruisin' for dudez in the Barbmobile.

I love "going out." That's a widely accepted betch colloquialism for socializing, right? But I think we use the term "going out" because what we really enjoy is the act of "going," like as in putting on a record (The Yardbirds, Francois Hardy, Some Girls), loading a bowl (cereal! for the next morning!), lighting a candle, and going through the ritual.

I’ve probably spent a quarter of my life bathing and moisturizing and brushing and exfoliating, prepping, painting my face. And dressing--but on a perfect day I’d already know what I want to wear. Putting on makeup is a creative release, styling an outfit is like solving a math problem; there’s too much logic and proportions and brain activity involved.

The whole process calls for solitude, but solitude doesn’t care if there’s a friend there to make you drinks because she wants you to do a cat eye on her, and you oblige.

Once you head “out” you have to enter another mode, trying hard not to lament the fact that your night peaked between tying up the lacing on your vintage dirndl and touching up your lip liner. You’re a pessimist and need to learn to socialize. And to stop hating a majority of the people you meet. (I’m sorry, I get that alcohol makes people more outgoing and friendly, but it also makes them act like categorical morons.) WELL WHY DON’T YOU JOIN A FREAKING BOOK CLUB, TWAT?

It was during those going times that I got most excellent at experimenting with “different” makeup looks. Looks that you’d gladly wear in the daytime but don’t want to have wake up before 10 for--looks you’d try over the weekend. (Get it? Full circle? Straight line at least?)

I had this gorgeous bright purple crème shadow in my desk drawer, so I started there. Then I took a turn into the frosty territory and ended up with a look that I decided befits Barbie’s slutty friend. I believe her name is Stacy? Stacey? Stacee?

Right, so use your finger to dab the purple (I’m using Esteé Lauder’s Pure Color Stay-On Shadow Paint in Neon Fuchsia) from your lashes to your crease. Then take a metallic copper cream or pencil (Urban Decay’s 24/7 Glide-On pencils are basically long-wear, opaque cream shadow in liner form; I’m using Scorch) and draw it just on the inner corner of the top lid, blending out about 1/3 of the way onto the purple.

Take a stiff flat brush and wiggle some dark purply metallic shadow into your lower lash line, like Urban Decay's Roach. Take that same brush and a super-dark shadow (Bobbi Brown makes excellent shadows to use as liners--dark brown Espresso is one of my favorites) and line just the outer corners of your lashes, like a little sideways V that connects your lower and upper lash line.

Brush mascara on your uncurled outer lashes (curling will cover up the pretty purple on your lid). Le Volume De Chanel is the BEST for this. It makes your outer lashes super-thick and doll-like.

I like a peach blush paired with the purple shadow; Sephora’s Cream Blush in Coral Flush is nice. Bronze yourself as usual, I’m into a matte bronze--Too Faced Milk Chocolate Soleil--just in the hollows of my cheeks.

I layered Nars Tonga lip liner under OCC’s metallic white Iced Lip Tar, and then topped with a super-glittery neutral gloss by e.l.f. The lips are what tip you into slut territory, so really try for frost and glitter.

Highlight, always. Lush’s Feeling Younger is easy and not too shimmery. Opalescent, even.

A minty green nail really takes this look home. FACE’s Sweet Pea makes me feel like I have that nauseatingly sweet green gum in my mouth, you know?

Right on, you’re done! I think a high ponytail would compliment the makeup nicely, but I personally look way hotter with the swoop.

Where are you gonna slut it up this weekend?