3 Wacky Eyeliner Looks I Discovered Whilst In An Internet Beauty K-hole

I refuse to accept that mindless internet browsing is a waste of time and not an essential portal to looking beautiful and perfect.
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May 20, 2014
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Look, I'm not going to out and out say I'm am introverted social-sloth, but the truth is, I spend a lot of my time on the internet. Like, way too much, probably. I have meltdowns when Time Warner blanks and my service is slow/not working. But that doesn't mean you can't benefit from the fruits of my indulgent idling.

The good news is that you get a chance to use all those extraneous eyeliners you bought "just to have" but then found that you really just use the one kind that you like and trust. For instance, I bought this NYC Eyeliner Liquide thinking it was a pen, but it was really a brush on a stick inside the cap, and I was like AW COME ON. Thus, never used it. There's the gel/cream liner that is probably the most universally easy to use (in my small-minded opinion), and the liquid liner pen--a tool no makeup put'er-on'er should underestimate. They're great because the line is always sharp and opaque but so are your mistakes when you flup it.

So this all started as I was innocently just browsing the web the other week and stumbled upon this photo of Zoe Kravtiz, newly and wistfully blonde.

Miss K and I have quite a bit of history (and I do mean quite a bit. As in, the tiniest bit). I remember the days of my senior year of college, where she was a freshman enrolled in the acting conservatory for maybe one semester before she realized she’s Zoe Kravitz and does not need a BFA in Acting to actually get acting jobs.

I’d see her around campus, usually on the weekends as most of us undergrads roamed the dorms and apartment complexes party-hopping, immediately recognizable by her cooler-than-everyone appearance, which was much more innate than it was a swagger, so much.

At first I was like, “Hmm, maybe this is a bid for cutting bangs?” Considering I can’t seem to stop cutting my own hair anyway. Upon closer lurking, I noticed two symmetrical dots placed under Zoe’s eyes. I was all, WOW SO UNEXPECTED, VERY SUBTLE, SUCH NEW TO ME! I mean, not that it’s a totally groundbreaking eyeliner trick, but that is the sneaky beauty of it. It’s a way to communicate “My eyes are here” without patronizingly pointing at your eyes with your index and middle finger in an aggressive V shape. (Like I really care if a dude is staring at my pair of 32As. Keep looking, YOU'LL NEVER FIND THEM).

Best of all (bestly, if you will) it translates so well to nearly anyplace you would normally wear eyeliner.

And then I found myself further in a k-hole of wacky eyeliner and found images from Dior’s 2015 Cruise fashion show… or something.

Dior basically held a cruise-themed fashion show in the Brooklyn Navy Yard in the beginning of May, incidentally where one of my many day jobs is located, though with much less glamour and grandeur and a lot more confining myself to a windowless workspace in an industrial lot. Also, I did not know that there was a “cruise season.” Like, everybody has to be on a luxury ocean liner? Can't nobody vacation on land? Don’t they know about all the poop malfunctions on cruise ships?

Regardless! Folks were flipping for the makeup, which, by all means, was dope. The models’ skin was so fresh and so clean, save for graphic eye makeup in what is probably the next micro-trend of cat-eyeing, divergent eyeliner.

The best part is that it is actually as easy as it looks. I think a big reason why people get excited about these kinds of beauty discoveries sometimes is the attainability of a look that otherwise was an unexpected “Why didn’t I think of that?” discovery. At least, that’s me. I don’t know about you.

Further fashion show beauty stalking on the Internet brought me to the badass gazes off the Derek Lam runway this past S/S 2014. Dude always has his models in some graphic eye makeup that is possibly too weird for everyday but is so simply and gracefully executed that I’m like, Why the hell not rock this on a Monday afternoon? The beauty is in the well-placed application


Isn't eyeliner neat, you guys?