I'm in Love With a Fancy-Ass Deodorant

Forget diamonds -- I'll take deodorant instead.
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Alison Freer
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Forget diamonds -- I'll take deodorant instead.

I was recently coerced into purchasing an expensive deodorant. When I say coerced, what I really mean is that I was walking by my favorite store, L'Occitane, with twenty bucks burning a hole in my pocket. I need more lotion like the NFL needs another Ray Rice situation, so I was forced to improvise. Hence, I bought an $18 deodorant

I was pretty positive I'd purchased the most expensive deodorant ever, but just to be sure, I decided to Google it. And let's just say that one of the Google auto-fills for "most expensive" makes me weep for humanity:

Most%20expensive

Me at Starbucks: "Hi, I'd like to order your most expensive drink for everyone in the store." Cashier: "What? Go away." For the record, the most expensive Starbucks drink is ever-changing. As of right now, it appears to be a $71.35 concoction consisting of 77 shots of espresso that was carted out of the store in a cooler. Also, it turns out that I didn't actually buy the most expensive deodorant ever, that honor belongs to an $82 Sisley one:

ANYWAY, this L'Occitane deodorant is stupidly over-priced but also, well...it's rather incredible. After using it, I realized that every single deodorant I've used since I was a teenager has smelled like burnt plastic cupcakes and stung the holy crap out of my freshly-shaven armpits. (Yes, I shave my underarms every single day, even in the winter.) I wasn't expecting the stinging problem to be solved by my fancy L'Occitane deodorant, but, DUH, it is! And after a very (un)scientific perusal of all the various deodorants for sale at my local drugstore, I figured out that, um, I think the alcohol is what's burning my baby-faced pits.

VERY SENSITIVE!

VERY SENSITIVE!

The L'Occitane Verveine Agrumes deodorant goes on sort of waxlike and has a fresh woody/citrus scent, with absolutely zero plastic cupcake smell at all. But the best part (besides the lack of armpit burning) is that it absolutely, positively does not leave any white residue on your clothes. Even if you put a black dress on five seconds after you apply, it's completely clear.

It's not an anti-perspirant, so it may not stop you from stinking on a super hot summer's day, but it is the perfect fancy-pants "special treat" product to cushion the blow of oncoming cold weather. I'd buy it again in a second. It also contains no aluminum, if you're concerned with that sort of thing. I think the link between aluminum deodorants and cancer is kind of tenuous at best -- but if you care, there ya go.

While I love almost everything L'Occitane does with my whole entire heart, they actually make me the tiniest bit mad sometimes, as they keep discontinuing my favorite scents -- such as the late, great Bourbon Vanilla and the recent debacle over their limited-edition honey-scented collection. (You can actually still get the honey scent in a tiny tube of hand cream. It costs twelve bucks an ounce and I dole it out with a dropper like it's liquid cocaine.) But besides my new rich-girl deodorant, let me tell you what other product is worth every single stupid penny L'Occitane wants for it: their Organic Shea Butter, available in either a 5.2 oz or 0.35 oz tin. It's the ultimate multi-purpose product -- you can use it for everything from smoothing rough elbows to taming flyway hairs to moisturizing chapped lips. It's nothing short of amazing.

L'Occitane certified organic shea butter, 5.2 oz/$42.00 or 0.35 oz/$12.00.

L'Occitane certified organic shea butter, 5.2 oz/$42.00 or 0.35 oz/$12.00.

Congrats! You just read 586 words about deodorant.

I'm on Twitter: @IveyAlison