It's gonna get sappy up in here.
I don't have a TV or an internet connection strong enough to live stream red carpet events so I got my Met Gala fix exclusively through social media last night.
Thank you, Instagram (which, in my humble opinion, is the best social media platform for watching red carpet events unfold because you get the memes right alongside the exquisite sartorial eye candy).
I firmly believe that Rihanna stole the whole show in a perfectly yellow, perfectly over-the-top Guo Pei gown that took -- I know this because I saw an instagram video -- three grown-ass men to lift so she could ascend the red carpeted steps like the goddess she is.
Kendall Jenner's Calvin Klein gown also deserves a nod. She looked like a gorgeous basilisk:
And there was Bey.
Bey, whose late(ish) arrival in Givenchy launched a hundred memes:
Bey who shimmered like sunlight on water or the most glamourous Fabergé Egg of all time.
Bey, it goes without saying, looked perfect (but not quite as theme-appropriate as Rihanna).
Why am I going on about these three ladies out of the countless ladies that avoided the terrors of cultural appropriation and managed to work a possibly disastrous theme in priceless gowns?
Because I want to carry their style with me for roughly 364 days and here's how I'm going to do it.
While I am mildly horrified to find myself humming Coldplay while I type this, I am intoxicated with a color I usually equate to "sundresses!" or "fun shorts!" instead of beauty products. However, post-complete-dazzlement by Rihanna and Guo Pei, I'm going to start incorporating yellows into my daily beauty routine whenever I need to feel like a golden goddess.
1) My favorite nail polish EVER is RickyColor. It goes on easy and true to color and has the staying power of more expensive brands like Essie and Butter London. Maybe I'm painting my nails right now at my desk, maybe not (hint: I am), but if and when I do, it will be in RickyColor in Rockefeller Rink or RickyColor in Rarely & Never, ($6.50)
2) One cannot wear a headdress every day (nor should one), but I adore Kevin Murphy Shimmer Bugs, ($25) and a subtle metallic ombre is almost as good as crown. Before gilding your hair in gilt, I recommend adding a tacky product (like a hairspray or paste) to help the color stick.
3) Rihanna's face is perfect so I imagine her make up team has an easy job. For those of us who are not naturally perfect-faced, my latest and greatest choice for contouring (Lightly! Gently! I know everyone is sick to death of contouring!) is Stila Sculpt & Shade Custom Color, ($40) A little bit of this creamy color-duo goes a very long way which makes its price tag a little less painful as does adding a drugstore nude lip (Rimmel Lasting Finish by Kate Moss in Nude, $5.50).
I have always been crazy in love with Too Faced palettes and still have the Fairy Tale deluxe thingamabob my mother bought me for college graduation. The best part of these palettes is that the shades work as eyeshadow (obvs) AND highlighters.
1) To bring a little runway realness to my daily life, I'm going to highlight and accent my eyes with the Too Faced Sugar Pop Palette ($36). (HINT: Peach Fuzz and Rock Candy work really well on cheek and brow bones and the brighter colors are fantastic little pops of color.)
2) To emulate her perfectly-lined eyes, I highly, madly, and deeply recommend The Curve by NYX ($15). While a bit pricey by drugstore standards, it is an incredible liner no matter how bad you are at drawing straight lines.
3) Kendall worked a very subtly full brow which I love because I am always looking to step up my brow game. To get a "I-totally-don't-fill-in-my-brows" full brows look, NYX Micro Brow Pencil ($10) is my go-to. It makes the teeniest, tiniest, Thumbelina strokes.
Due to her "perfect human being" status, Queen Bey did not need to do much. When I want to be the most fierce in the office, I'll be doing the same with Too Faced Natural Palette ($36) that brings both smokey and subtle vibes in it's color scheme and MAC Eye Gloss in Lightly Tauped ($23), which works well as a liner as long as you USE A PRIMER FIRST (otherwise, you'll get all tacky). If you refuse to deal with sticky eyelids, even for Beyonce, try a few dabs of MAC Pigment in Copper and Melon ($21). These tiny tubes hold my favorite multitasking shimmer and they last forever.
I will use any excuse to spray myself down with Kevin Murphy Shimmer Shine, $27.50, a nourishing and sparkly spray that provides hold and Beyonce gown quality bejeweled glow because who doesn't want to shine bright like Beyonce?
And so, having salivated over 2015's Met Gala, I'm off to apply a light bronzer to my cheekbones and paint my nails (in the office, which is TOTALLY OKAY HERE) a bright, bright yellow. While I wait for them to dry, won't you please talk #MetGala fashion with me. I am dying to know what you think about the following:
Do you think any celebs took the theme into dangerous (read: culturally insensitive) territory?
What was your absolute favorite celebrity look?
Did you think Kim Kardashian's look was a not-so-subtle repeat of Beyonce's dress last year?
Would you duel me to defend Rihanna's honor (because I am ready for any and all comers who dare say she was not the most flawless attendee last evening)?