I’M IN MIAMI, BITCH! Here’s how to smell like you are, too. Plus: drug smuggling!

If you didn't know you could SMELL tan in addition to simply LOOKING tan...you're welcome in advance.

Dec 2, 2011 at 10:00am | Leave a comment

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Yo! Like every other trendy-happy person in New York who enjoys art but also really, really enjoys massive amounts of partying and whirlwind long weekends crammed full of glamour events, I’m in Miami for Art Basel, the American incarnation (not the right word but it stays) of the world’s biggest contemporary art fair. Or something. Whatever. This isn't fucking Artforum!

I’m staying with my friends The Mirf (follow them on Twitter!), a.k.a. Mint and Serf, who you have read about here and will again quite soon, because there is a massive street art and graffiti presence in this town always, and never so much as during Basel. Blah blah blah.

(Incidentally, if you want to learn more about the Miami street art scene, my friend Ben has produced an awesome new web series called “Here Comes The Neighborhood” that will inform and entertain you -- do check it out here.)

So along with my beloved friend Same a.k.a. the Looseyking (follow him on Twitter!) and a few others, we’re staying in this huge loft in the trendy Design District. This is our view from the balcony:

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Oh, yesss. Life is good. God, it was only a month ago that I was so depressed that when I finally got up and took a walk after being in bed for weeks and weeks, my legs muscles were seriously sore the next day -- that’s how immobilized the darkness had made me! And now I’m all better and in the sunshine with my friends. It’s so bizarre how life works! How brain chemistry works.

But anyway. Back to Basel.

Well, I actually don’t have any art stuff to report yet, because today we didn’t do that much. Mint and Serf did an installation at this club Grand Central and we went and checked that out:

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Tonight (I'm writing this Thursday night, so you'll be reading it Friday morning, after I've partied) is the first big night of parties that I’m going to. Mint and Serf went to some amazing Louis Vuitton dinner at Soho House Wednesday night  -- and tomorrow Mint might go (if he gets up in time) to a brunch thrown by the auction house Christie’s, on a yacht. It’s so glamorous here! It's hard not to love Miami.

Oh, did I mention that I in theory could have successfully smuggled 17 pills of ecstasy onto a plane? I decided to test the whole thing with these candies here. I was going to smuggle them vaginally -- boof, the term is -- but Jane made me all paranoid about the body scanners, and told me to tell security that I was pregnant. But I don’t believe that anyone would believe that I was pregnant since I dress like a grungy 13-year-old. So I just put them in a pill bottle in my suitcase and checked the bag. And they made it! I did not get in trouble. Look:

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Personal use only. Just kidding! Those are candies. I would never take drugs on an airplane, much less write about it and document it. I'm not *that* dumb. This was an experiment. TSA fail!

Anyway, I got a little bit of a tan today. Isn’t just-tanned skin one of the loveliest, most sexy scents in the world? Like skin that’s had tanning oil on it, and when you’re walking back from the beach you sort of smell your own shoulder and it smells amazing. Am I bugging? Am I making this up? It’s a thing, right? Other people do that?

Because that’s how this lotion smells. It’s Mario Badescu Summer Shine Body Lotion, it’s $10 for smaller bottle and $22 for a big one, and I’ve been obsessed with it for years. Mario Badescu is the legendary O.G. facial place in New York that also makes the most amazing and way affordable products that truly are so fantastic for skin from head to toe.

This particular lotion smells like skin -- sun-kissed, tan, beachy skin. It’s not overtly sunscreen-y or coconutty, but if you like those scents, you will LOVE this one, which is so subtle and hard to explain! I hope I have. Best of all, there is the tiniest hint of goldenness to it. I hesitate to say shimmer, because I don’t want to turn anyone off. Instead, it just has a gleam. So it makes dull skin soft soft soft, and also lights it up with this golden luminosity. I just love it. BUY.

I also live and die for J.Lo Miami Glow! OmiGOD, you guys, I thought this was still discontinued! Coty bought it back:

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WOW. I used to wear this stuff every single day like four years ago. It smells like, again, tan skin, and a little sunscreen, with some sweet tropical drink-type notes thrown in, but really it's a beachy fragrance. Like imagine Jennifer Lopez on the yacht with Ben in the "Jenny From the Block" video: all oiled up in that hot pink bathing suit. THIS is what she smells like at that moment.

Yes, I f-ing LOVE J.Lo Miami Glow! I LOVE IT. Ordering myself a $25 bottle right now; that's how excited I am to have it back in my life. I'm not even going to make my Julie call it in for me (yet!). BUY.

What products do you like for a beachy smell? Or talk about whatever you wants in the comments please. Xo

Cat is on Twitter.